Sheep’s clothing

THIS PREMIUM SUV PLAYS IT SAFE IN THE LOOKS DEPARTMENT. BUT WITH 800NM OF TORQUE, YOU WON’T WANT TO TUSSLE WITH IT OFF THE LIGHTS, SAYS CAMERON OFFICER

willing, you’ll certainly arrive at your destination before you expect to.

This may read as ridiculous, but the nearest behind- the- wheel acceleration sensation I can think of is the one I experienced in a V12- engined Rolls- Royce. Yes, I know. Comparing a Volkswagen SUV to an $ 800,000 Roller is indeed a leap of Olympian proportions. But there it is.

Okay; feet back on ground now. Because no one ever bought an SUV — even one with quad exhausts and a roof spoiler — based purely on how it accelerates, what else does this Touareg offer?

Lots of everything really, including bi- xenon headlights with LED Daytime Running Lights, keyless entry, shift paddles to manually swap through the automatic gearbox’s eight ratios, Adaptive Cruise Control with semi- autonomous emergency braking functionality, parking sensors front and back, cameras everywhere and an electrically opening tailgate.

It also features standard adjustable air suspension and, as you’d expect, a deep and usable luggage area. The R- Line signature stuff is more prominent inside, with an aluminium centre console surface, stainless performance pedals and scuff plates the most obvious additions, and R- Line logos peppered throughout.

It’s plain to see Volkswagen hasn’t for a moment lost sight of the attributes that sell SUVs. In fact, despite this vehicle’s fantastic engine and R- Line embellishments, the manufacturer almost