Sex

Jodie Mol­loy an­swers your most in­ti­mate ques­tions

Woman’s Day (NZ) - - Woman's Day This Week -

QI want to give my hus­band a sexy treat, but I’m not sure what the best dress-up out­fit is. I’m a larger lady and my friends all have dif­fer­ent opin­ions. Any ideas? Miss Naughty, Kapiti Coast

A When it comes to sexy at­tire, I’m a clas­si­cist and I’ve al­ways thought that items from La Perla – my idea of lin­gerie heaven – is the stuff that sets bed­rooms on fire.

But af­ter hav­ing done some re­search, I’ve come to the con­clu­sion this isn’t what nec­es­sar­ily sells or is the most pop­u­lar. So it seems that this whole time I may as well have been dress­ing up as a nun!

What ac­tu­ally flies off the shelves are of­ten the out­fits that might make most women whis­per “jeep­ers creep­ers” un­der their breath. But this is ex­cit­ing to know! If this is all about him and it’s not a mu­tual treat, I en­cour­age you to jump on­line to find the most risqué, skimpy, brightly coloured, ny­lon num­ber out there.

And don’t worry if you don’t nail it the first time – treat it like an ex­per­i­ment and be brave. I bet that what may not nec­es­sar­ily ap­peal to you will cer­tainly ap­peal to him.

Q My part­ner and I have been going out for a year and I love him to bits, but I find it re­ally weird that he makes no sound at all when we are in­ti­mate. His si­lence makes me feel like maybe I’m get­ting some­thing wrong as my de­parted hus­band used to make a bit of a song and dance. Do you know what the norm is for this?

Old Yeller, Whi­tianga

A Let me as­sure you that just be­cause a man isn’t hol­ler­ing like Tarzan, it does not mean he’s not hav­ing a crack­er­jack time.

Hav­ing done a lit­tle bit of rudi­men­tary re­search on this my­self, there’s a range of rea­sons why peo­ple are not vo­cal dur­ing in­ter­course. It can be anything from hav­ing learnt to plea­sure them­selves dis­creetly through to – as one of my friends de­clared – think­ing that it’s sim­ply “bad man­ners” to sound like some oaf win­ning the sex­ual lot­tery.

When a lover is vo­cal, it’s of­ten ei­ther a turn-on in it­self or it’s an af­fir­ma­tion. If you like noise for the lat­ter rea­son and you’ve con­cluded af­ter an hon­est chat with him that it’s just not his style, maybe ask him to whis­per some­thing in your ear dur­ing sex?

Choose a phrase that would ex­cite you or give you a sign that he ap­pre­ci­ates your ef­forts. I’m sure a lov­ing part­ner would hap­pily con­cede to be­ing ver­bal this way, even if it wasn’t in their sex­ual na­ture to make a racket.

Q My hus­band has re­cently started suf­fer­ing some erec­tile is­sues and it takes him longer than nor­mal to get his busi­ness done. We are find­ing lu­bri­cant a bit messy and won­dered if there is anything else you can rec­om­mend for him?

Pa­tient, Haw­era

A Good on you for be­ing such a help­ing hand, in ev­ery sense of the mat­ter! Some men don’t like lube and, in fact, pre­fer some­thing like Wicked’s Crème Mas­tur­ba­tion Cream for Men, avail­able from Peaches and Cream.

I have also heard that an in­creas­ing amount of peo­ple find us­ing co­conut oil is a feel­good al­ter­na­tive.

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