Ask Polly

Get ad­vice from fast-talk­ing Rova and More FM star Polly Gille­spie

Woman’s Day (NZ) - - What A Week -

QMy d daugh­ter h h has just j got her first boyfriend, which is my hus­band’s worst night­mare. She’s 16 and I think he’s a nice boy, so I don’t mind them be­ing to­gether. But my hus­band hates the idea, so he keeps stop­ping her from see­ing the guy. I don’t want to go against him and his rules, but I think it’s un­fair on her. Whose side should I be on?

Cool Mum, Tau­ranga

AYikes,girl! Your hus­band is be­ing a lit­tle 1878 here. You need to talk to him be­fore you do any­thing else. Sit him down and ex­plain that at 16, if she has been brought up well, and there is hon­est and open con­ver­sa­tion, you guys should trust her. Sure, sleep­overs may not be at all cool, but she’s 16 and even kids from strict re­li­gious fam­i­lies are al­lowed on dates at that age. But this con­ver­sa­tion should take place just with your hus­band – not in front of your daugh­ter. Be fair, firm and per­sua­sive.

QI’m a sin­gle mum and when my daugh­ter was younger, I spent so much time with her that I had ab­so­lutely no so­cial life. Now she’s h ’ moved d out and d I don’t know what to do with my­self. I haven’t kept in touch with any friends, and I don’t re­ally go out and do any­thing. How do I get my life back on track and start so­cial­is­ing again?

Lonely, via email

AWell,I know it sounds like a stock-stan­dard an­swer, but it’s about things like classes you’ve al­ways wanted to take – or ones you’ve never wanted to take. It’s about do­ing the gym-class thing or the Thai-cook­ing-class thing. My friend has just started sewing at 40 – as in, she was not a sewer and she has now as­tounded me with the re­ally cool clothes she has made. Not like me on an old Singer with a Very Easy Vogue pat­tern in 1988, but re­ally cool stuff. But most im­por­tantly, she’s made amaz­ing friends in the process. Get out there, girl!

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