A date with Sarah-Kate; Kate’s home truths
Winter has a side-splitting effect on Sarah-Kate
Spring, where have you been all my life? We were dying of winter fatigue out here. We needed your longer days, warmer temperatures, fluffy lambs and joyful daffodils.
Winter felt like it had been going on for years. I don’t think I’ve ever worn my coat so much and I know for a fact it has had enough of me. In one single day, three buttons popped off, one after the other, like a cartoon.
Don’t laugh. I could’ve taken someone’s eyes out – and still had a button to spare in case Cyclops came around the corner also in need of blinding.
It was a cold day and I couldn’t imagine spending much of it without my trusted outer layer done up to the very top, so finding myself without needle and thread, I took it to a shop and paid someone $12 to sew the buttons back on again.
(Hang around me for long enough and your confidence in the economy will start swelling in no time.)
The coat is getting on in years, but I’m very keen on it because it was bought in a half-price sale from the Diane von Furstenberg shop in the Meat Packing District in New York when the Ginger and I went there for Christmas many moons ago.
I’m very attached to it, figuratively and literally, but it drives him crazy that I get emotionally involved with my clothes. The parachute suit I bought in Sydney in 1984! The cheerleading jacket from LA later that decade! The maxi kilt from Edinburgh! So what if I never wear any of them because they smell funny and quite possibly look funny?
The coat’s different because I do wear it, but that drives him crazy too, mostly because it’s actually quite hard to get on and off again.
Indeed, the reason it was so cheap in the first place was because it weighs approximately 10 kilos. Skinny New Yorkers trying to lift it off the hanger no doubt crumpled to the floor beneath its heft and lay there dying. Me, I saw the “50% off” sign and just put my back into it, in every sense.
As for the buttons, I can’t really blame Diane von Furstenberg because the truth is that I have a little eating condition in the cooler weather – that is, I can’t stop! For reasons that have no basis whatsoever in science, I’m ravenous by morning tea time, beside myself at lunch and roaring down to the bun shop come 3pm to ward off my bottomless-pit syndrome. And that’s all before my predinner snack.
I’m sure I don’t pack anywhere near so much in over the summer, but it’s so long since I had a summer, I actually can’t remember.
All I know is that the waistbands are tight and the buttons are flying.
But now that spring is sprung, maybe I can push old faithful to the back of the cupboard and start thinking about morning beach walks, leafy trees, sweet-smelling jonquils, open windows and outside tables.
May your arms soon be sleeveless and your chocolate brownies a special treat, not a daily occurrence.