Run­ning

Sunday Trust - - VIEW POINT - with El­nathan John ec­ceneljo@ya­hoo.com

Dear­est Buhari,

You know, for some peo­ple, their first in­stinct - if they saw prob­lems like daily kid­nap­pings ev­ery­where, daily mas­sacres in vil­lages in Benue and Taraba, the free- for-all war zone that is Birnin Gwari, the armed ban­dits who have taken over Zam­fara, the poverty and hope­less­ness hap­pen­ing un­der their watch - would be to run away. But you, my dear, de­spite your age and health, have de­cided to run, to­ward the prob­lems so that you can be part of the so­lu­tion. And for this I ad­mire you.

I am here try­ing to cam­paign for you and I want to un­der­stand some points of your do­mes­tic pol­icy. I know you want herds­men to get graz­ing lands and amnesty. Be­cause the real prob­lem is graz­ing. But then, you also said that the peo­ple who kill and wipe out vil­lages are herds­men trained and equipped by Ghaddafi who died many years ago. I must say that I be­lieve you like I be­lieve ev­ery­thing that comes out of your mouth. I have to add that if it was Ghaddafi that caused all of our herds­men killings, those ban­dits must have good main­te­nance cul­ture. Be­cause it is not easy to keep weapons all these years. Ex­cept if they got money to buy new ri­fles, which I doubt. So they know how to main­tain their weapons.

I think there is some­thing we can learn from these Ghaddafi’s peo­ple. But the real ques­tion is: If they are mer­ce­nar­ies trained by Ghaddafi, should we still give them graz­ing land to solve the vi­o­lence? Be­cause I am not sure the ban­dits trained by Ghaddafi care very much about graz­ing land. Any­way, send me an email ex­plain­ing it to me so that I can ex­plain it to the wail­ers who doubt your abil­ity to lead this coun­try for an­other 5 years.

I am also ex­cited about your trip to Lon­don, es­pe­cially as you have given no re­turn date. You can’t trust Nige­ri­ans. Once you give them a re­turn date every­one will give you a list of things to buy for them as if you had all the lug­gage al­lowance in the world. And it is not as if they would pay for ex­tra lug­gage. Only thing is, like the last time, I will re­ally miss you. But I will spend my time de­sign­ing the posters for your cam­paign. Please send me your re­cent pho­tos, es­pe­cially ones where you are wear­ing white. I love you in white. It shows that in spite of all the blood­let­tings in Zam­fara, Benue, Taraba, Kaduna and Nas­sarawa, you are still clean. In spite of all the kid­nap­pings, you are still pure.

So, since we both know you are go­ing to win elec­tions in 2019, can we start think­ing of build­ing a hos­pi­tal in Abuja that is equipped enough to treat you and your chil­dren? Some­thing you can be con­fi­dent enough to at­tend with­out fear­ing for your life? Even if it is one hos­pi­tal. And then, of course, build or ren­o­vate one spot which can be used as the pres­i­den­tial re­sort, some­where you can go on va­ca­tion. You know, like Camp David in Amer­ica.

I think there is some­thing we can learn from these Ghaddafi’s peo­ple. But the real ques­tion is: If they are mer­ce­nar­ies trained by Ghaddafi, should we still give them graz­ing land to solve the vi­o­lence? Be­cause I am not sure the ban­dits trained by Ghaddafi care very much about graz­ing land

Also, I know you are tired, but can we do like a monthly broad­cast from when you re­turn, just for show (I know you hate talk­ing to the peo­ple who think they elected you), in English (be­cause even though I know that you pre­fer Hausa, these Nige­ri­ans can com­plain). Just once a month, no de­bates or any­thing. Just some­thing short and crisp. Some­thing to make peo­ple think you care. I think it might help with the cam­paign. You know how Nige­ri­ans are. Once you open your mouth every­one will be­gin to praise you as if there was not in­se­cu­rity and vi­o­lence in the coun­try. And they should praise you be­cause the vi­o­lence is not your fault but that of Ghaddafi. Why should you take the blame? Did you beg any­one to make you pres­i­dent?

Also, can we pay some more ran­som to re­lease some more girls close to the elec­tions? Not too far away from the elec­tions be­cause you know how Nige­ri­ans like to for­get. The closer to elec­tion time the bet­ter so that the re­lease of the girls will be fresh in their minds as they put their thumbprints next to your party logo.

Ps. My weekly re­minder: Please think of the Shi­ite man who is still in prison, whose chil­dren and fol­low­ers we mas­sa­cred and buried in Kaduna. It is never too late to do the right thing. It is 2018. We need good karma for our 2019 re-elec­tion. Re­lease him, his wife and his peo­ple. Or con­duct a fair and open trial. Then we can even use it to score po­lit­i­cal points. Hugs. Yours un­til 2023 and for­ever El­nathan John.

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