Chas­ing Shad­ows...

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BLESSED is any woman, who recog­nises the ‘favour’ in her life and ac­tu­ally ap­pre­ci­ates such, hap­pi­ness will never be far from such a woman. But a fool­ish woman is the one that would read­ily trade sub­stance for some ephemeral set­tings... those are the kind of women that are per­pet­u­ally in search of hap­pi­ness that they can’t seem to find... be­cause they keep look­ing in the wrong places.

Plea­sure is good but cer­tain plea­sures are never meant to take the place of sub­stance and any­one who goes for sub­stance knows that cer­tain amount of sac­ri­fice is in­volved. A mat­ter was brought be­fore an el­derly per­son in my fam­ily some­time back. The mat­ter in­volved an ex­tended fam­ily mem­ber and his ‘thick madam’ wife... ap­par­ently this rel­a­tive of mine told the woman that he was done with the mar­riage and the woman made it clear that it’s over her dead body that he would walk away from her­hav­ing made her lose what she called ‘a lot,’ in a bid to be with him.

This last part of her threat to my rel­a­tive aroused my in­ter­est in the mat­ter and I started my in­ves­ti­ga­tion on the woman. In­deed, she lost a lot to be with a ‘fine boy!’

The woman ac­tu­ally walked out on a man whose de­cency, hard­work and com­fort that those I in­ter­ro­gated at­tested to, and the three kids of the mar­riage, to be with ‘fine boy’. Ac­cord­ing to those that know her...she claimed that life with the former hus­band was bor­ing, de­spite the fact that he seemed a good provider and de­cent to a fault.

She said that the ‘fine boy’ she left her fam­ily for is a lot more ex­cit­ing-in ev­ery sense of the word...if you know what I mean.

The bub­ble only burst when her ‘fine bobo’ be­gan to sam­ple a few of her friends (who were prob­a­bly on the look­out for some ex­cite­ment as well...don’t birds of the same feather flock to­gether again?) and when she got to know about it-she threw him out!

Re­al­is­ing that she could not stay with­out him for long, she asked him to come back...and ‘fine boy’ (who seems to have found his feet) said that he was ac­tu­ally done with the mar­riage. That was what led to the threat she is­sued to him.

It baf­fles me non-stop that any woman would rather throw away sub­stance (MEN who are worth their onions) - for ephemeral plea­sures that have never got­ten any­body any­where.

Any woman that is not fool­ish only needs to look at the num­ber of ‘ bunkums’ out there to ap­pre­ci­ate that hard­work­ing man in her life...even if he nei­ther has a movie star looks nor ‘bangs’ you sense­less!

This next gist is ac­tu­ally one of the cases that came up on a day that I was in court. Ac­cord­ing to the tes­ti­mony of the woman in the wit­ness stand, their wa­hala started be­cause her hus­band rented a shop (against her pref­er­ence of hav­ing one bought) for her... she felt he can af­ford it.

When she was asked if she knew what her hus­band’s monthly in­come is –she said ‘no’ but was quick to point out that his fam­ily busi­ness fetches the en­tire fam­ily a lot of in­come.

I didn’t stop shak­ing my head.

This woman could let things get out of hand be­cause her hus­band rented (rather than buy) a shop for her!

It mat­tered not that she at least has a shop, even if it was not bought yet, to op­er­ate from.

That same man was said to have bought her two SUVS, moved her from their rented apart­ment in Parkview es­tate to the prop­erty he bought at Lekki, and hell was still let loose be­cause he dared rent her a shop in­stead of buy­ing one...ac­cord­ing to the Lawyer that was cross-ex­am­in­ing her.

When asked what she wants the court to do for her-she prayed the court NOT to dis­solve the mar­riage...mean­ing that she is still in­ter­ested in the mar­riage. But the prob­lem is that the hus­band has made it clear to the court that he would rather drink POI­SON -than re­main mar­ried to her. Not a few women in that court­room ex­changed sur­prised looks (me...i wore my own DIS­GUST on my sleeves!) as the coun­sel cross-ex­am­in­ing her was reel­ing off the things the hus­band did for her. None of which she showed any ap­pre­ci­a­tion for but was rather mak­ing trou­ble with even his peo­ple.

I am most cer­tain that what was go­ing on in the minds of my fel­low women in that court­room was IF ONLY-I HAD HALF OF WHAT THIS INGRATE HAS.

Sur­pris­ingly, most of us will still mis­be­have if we find our­selves in her shoes!

That is why I opined ear­lier that it is in­deed a bless­ing to recog­nise the favours in one’s life but it is a big­ger bless­ing to be ap­pre­cia­tive of such favours.

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