Drinkers reservation quota..!
WITH more and more state government going in for elections promising prohibition of liquor, drinkers have started feeling a little insecure! “We are forming a national political party!” said the town drunk, as he stood at my doorstep and handed me a leaflet, “and we would like you to attend!”
“Who told you I drink?” I asked nervously looking back to see if my wife was listening. “Nobody!” said the town drunk, “But we can make out a drinker just by looking at one! Will you come?” “Okay!” I whispered looking back again, “But only because I am a writer!” “It is time you drinkers came out of the closet,” said the town drunk, “and stopped hiding behind your steel tumblers!” It was a noisy scene at the first meeting of the Drinkers Party. I realised they had already elected a chairman, “He can drink a whole bottle of dharu!” said the town drunk as he sat next to me, “So we elected him chairman!”
“First item on the agenda!” said the chairman, and from his voice I knew he had already finished his quota. “The government is cutting water by 50% to beer and liquor companies!” said the secretary of the party at his side.
“So we write a letter to the government signed by all of us saying we promise to help the drought situation by not drinking a drop of water from today! We will drink our liquor neat!” The crowd was ecstatic, “He will make an excellent chairman!” said the town drunk at my elbow, “I have a feeling we will win the election!”
“And now the important announcement!” said the chairman, and you couldn’t hear even a glass tinkle in the room, “Since 32 % of the men drink in the country, which makes us a sizeable minority, we will ask the government to give us Reservations!” A cheer broke out in the room, followed by a standing ovation, and then the men jumped on top of tables, started swinging chairs around and even breaking bottles. “Reservations for us! Reservations for drinkers!” they shouted and suddenly I realised they were all ready to leave the hall and agitate on the streets and roads.
“Smash buses!” cried a drinker as he waved his whisky glass. “Burn cars!” said a beer drinker throwing his bottle onto the fan. “Rape!” cried the village drunk, as I told him to shut up. There was a stampede towards the door, when suddenly a government official entered with a letter to the chairman. The drinkers were suddenly quiet and then there was a roar of delight as the chairman shouted, “The government has agreed to give us reservation!”
“This is a good government,” said the town drunk, “It gives reservations for all! Here fill up this form! Once you fill it the chairman will sign it!”
“What is it?” I asked, staring curiously at the form. “Reservation Certificate!” said the town drunk, “With this your son, daughter can get Drinkers Reservation Quota in any college, and you can get reservation in government job instead of writing everyday..!” —Email:firstname.lastname@example.org