State mal­func­tion..!

Pakistan Observer - - OPINION -

AT the re­cently con­cluded fash­ion week in Mum­bai, a pretty model walk­ing the ramp had to quickly cover herself with her hands as her dress came loose, but us­ing ex­cep­tional pres­ence of mind, she brought the dress back in place with­out chang­ing her ex­pres­sion or fal­ter­ing her stride. The state gov­ern­ment how­ever im­me­di­ately ordered a probe to find out whether lovely model had in­ten­tion­ally done strip tease to tit­il­late au­di­ence.

“Mr Min­is­ter, Mr Min­is­ter nearly two thou­sand farm­ers have com­mit­ted suicide in the last five or six years!” “Find out!” screamed the min­is­ter, “whether she tugged at her hal­ter or un­loosed her belt, then ar­rest and as­sault her!”

“Mr Min­is­ter there’s a drought in the state, the peo­ple want re­lief they just can­not wait!” “Do you think?” asked the min­is­ter beads of sweat on his brow, “we could ask her to en­act the whole scene just now?”

“No power in the state sir, there’s black­outs all round. Fac­to­ries are closed, in­dus­tries out­ward bound!” “Was she wear­ing any­thing un­der her dress, tell me was she nude more or less?” “Mr Min­is­ter, Mr Min­is­ter onion prices they’re fall­ing!” “How old? How old was the girl on the ramp? You think she’s a model or some or­di­nary vamp?”

“Teach­ers cry out, they haven’t been paid! Per­ma­nent staff have been tem­po­rary made!” “How much?” asked the min­is­ter, “of her body was seen? Was she skinny, volup­tuous or skimpy and lean?” “The mon­soons are com­ing, the river’s full of dirt, call the com­mis­sioner up and make him alert!” “What ma­te­rial? What ma­te­rial was her dress made off? Did it ac­ci­den­tally fall or she tried to show off?”

“The trea­sury cof­fers are empty!” “Show me, show me her nude pho­to­graphs!” “The city’s in dark­ness!” “In­ter­view her in my cham­bers!” “Peo­ple are starv­ing!” “Was she a Miss In­dia? Miss Bom­bay? Or Miss Some­thing or other?” “Po­lice­men are now rapists!” “Is she pretty?” “Mr Min­is­ter! Mr Min­is­ter your files are all pending! “Ar­range passes for me in all shows of­fend­ing!”

“Mr Min­is­ter! Mr Min­is­ter! We need an en­quiry!” “Yes en­quiry, en­quiry!” whis­pered the min­is­ter drool­ing, “I’m or­der­ing an en­quiry to know if they’re fool­ing or if wardrobe mal­func­tion there re­ally was!” “No min­is­ter, no min­is­ter!” cho­rused the peo­ple to­gether, “Wardrobe mal­func­tion is not what we’re both­ered about, but an en­quiry into your state’s mal­func­tion. That’s what we’ve gath­ered to find out about .!” — Email:bob­s­ban­

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