Merry Eng­land..!

Pakistan Observer - - OPINION -

WHAT are you do­ing dear? asked Prince Philip as he watched his wife the queen of Eng­land jug­gle her head into a piece of gold wire. “What’s that funny thing you’re try­ing to place on your head?”

“It’s the crown!” said the queen crossly, “It’s just that I haven’t been wear­ing it these many years and you’ve for­got­ten how it looks!” “And why have you pulled it now?” asked her hus­band the prince con­sort. “Didn’t the peo­ple vote for me to rule again?” asked the queen cu­ri­ously, “Wasn’t that what they were vot­ing for? To have their old queen rule their merry Eng­land again?” “Ye gads!” shouted the old prince, “Then I bet­ter get my sword!” “Sword?” asked the old queen still try­ing to bal­ance her crown, “You want me to hold a sword when I can’t hold this damn crown?”

“But you need to chop off heads now!” said the prince in right earnest, “Chop off all the heads, now the peo­ple want you back!”

“And who’s head should I chop off first?” asked the queen, as she saw her crown fall. “Why Camilla of­course!” said the prince, “And then we could fin­ish with Charles once you’ve got the hang of it!” “That’s a con­vinc­ing thought!” whis­pered the queen, “Him and try­ing to be gay, hasn’t he done enough to break the monar­chy!” “What’s that noise?” asked the prince as he looked at the palace but­ler. “There’s a mob at the gate your high­ness!” said the but­ler bow­ing.

Áh maybe they want their queen to stand in the bal­cony and wave at them!” said the queen look­ing pleased, “But first I’ll have to get this damn crown to stand straight, don’t want it fall­ing off when I wave at them!”

“I don’t think they just want you to wave your hand at them, your majesty!” “Then what do they want?” asked the queen. “They want you to throw some gold on them! Can you hear them?” “Bread!” “Money!” “Jobs!” “What are they say­ing?” asked the queen. “Now that they’ve left the EU, there’s no food, no money, and no jobs!” said the but­ler, “They feel as their monarch you will have to fix it for them! They re­mem­ber tales of Merry Eng­land where the King and Queen threw gold and sil­ver on the crowd and Eng­land lived hap­pily ever af­ter! Shall I bring down the trea­sure chests?”

“What do we do?” asked the prince con­sort, star­ing at his wife kick­ing the crown un­der the ta­ble. “Run!” said his wife the queen. “Run where?” asked the prince. “To Europe!” whis­pered the queen as she hob­bled to the back door of the palace, “We’ll seek asy­lum from these mad­men and their Merry Eng­land..!” —Email:bob­s­ban­ter@gmail.com

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Pakistan

© PressReader. All rights reserved.