When Women Marry For the Wrong rea­sons

But not for the rea­son you think.

Cosmopolitan (Philippines) - - News -

as the maid of honor in my best friend Kim’s wed­ding, I got sauv-blanc wasted and made out with a grooms­man (who turned out to be a 28-year-old vir­gin) in a coat closet. You prob­a­bly think you know why. I was jeal­ous of the bride, right? Her ring, her dress, her ador­ing guests. Af­ter all, that’s what Hol­ly­wood rom-coms tell us about the maid of honor. We’re just crazy, jeal­ous ass­holes.

I was a crazy, jeal­ous ass­hole, but I wasn’t really jeal­ous of Kim (not her real name)—i was jeal­ous of the groom. This non­de­script dude she met in col­lege, whom I barely knew well enough to de­scribe with an ad­jec­tive in my wed­ding toast, was tak­ing away the girl I’d been best friends with since we were 11.

Af­ter the cer­e­mony, drunk logic took over: I made out with that grooms­man in the name of our friend­ship. Af­ter all, if I got mar­ried this year too, Kim wouldn’t lap me on the track of life ex­pe­ri­ence, and we’d have so much to talk about! Sure, I didn’t know his name (Kyle? Chris? Kryle?), but I could learn it be­fore our wed­ding! And more im­por­tant, I’d be able to call Kim for ad­vice on venues and flo­ral ar­range­ments.

On the car ride home, I texted Kim ex­cit­edly. Her re­sponse came im­me­di­ately: “Dude, he’s a vir­gin.” I was stunned. I’d been so neu­rotic and ahead of my­self that I’d done the op­po­site of catching up with her. I’d re­gressed to ju­nior high: making out with a vir­gin in a coat closet.

But I re­al­ized, over the next few months, that her mar­riage wouldn’t fun­da­men­tally change our friend­ship. Yes, we were in dif­fer­ent places on pa­per. But we’d been that way since high school ended: We had al­ready sur­vived dif­fer­ent col­leges, ca­reers, and at least three boyfriends. One lit­tle hus­band wouldn’t change it now.

bres­law is a Con­tribut­ing writer for Cosmo.

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