When Women Marry For the Wrong reasons
But not for the reason you think.
as the maid of honor in my best friend Kim’s wedding, I got sauv-blanc wasted and made out with a groomsman (who turned out to be a 28-year-old virgin) in a coat closet. You probably think you know why. I was jealous of the bride, right? Her ring, her dress, her adoring guests. After all, that’s what Hollywood rom-coms tell us about the maid of honor. We’re just crazy, jealous assholes.
I was a crazy, jealous asshole, but I wasn’t really jealous of Kim (not her real name)—i was jealous of the groom. This nondescript dude she met in college, whom I barely knew well enough to describe with an adjective in my wedding toast, was taking away the girl I’d been best friends with since we were 11.
After the ceremony, drunk logic took over: I made out with that groomsman in the name of our friendship. After all, if I got married this year too, Kim wouldn’t lap me on the track of life experience, and we’d have so much to talk about! Sure, I didn’t know his name (Kyle? Chris? Kryle?), but I could learn it before our wedding! And more important, I’d be able to call Kim for advice on venues and floral arrangements.
On the car ride home, I texted Kim excitedly. Her response came immediately: “Dude, he’s a virgin.” I was stunned. I’d been so neurotic and ahead of myself that I’d done the opposite of catching up with her. I’d regressed to junior high: making out with a virgin in a coat closet.
But I realized, over the next few months, that her marriage wouldn’t fundamentally change our friendship. Yes, we were in different places on paper. But we’d been that way since high school ended: We had already survived different colleges, careers, and at least three boyfriends. One little husband wouldn’t change it now.
breslaw is a Contributing writer for Cosmo.
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