For Your guy
The challenge is worth it.
And how to deal when your girl would really rather stay home
1 remember: she’s an introvert, not a recluse.
It’s too simplistic to automatically categorize her as an introvert and assume she fits a certain mold. Or worse, think that being an introvert is the same as being antisocial. Chances are, she still loves the company of friends and can even be the life of the party when she feels like it. But the events she most likely enjoys are those that provide an opportunity to connect with other people on a deeper level beyond the desultory small talk.
2 Discover new interests together.
When Enrico and I first started dating, it worried me how different we were from each other. But because we both wanted our relationship to work, we did our best to discover things that we could do together as a couple.
Because we found our common ground, it got much easier for the two of us to enjoy our other interests separately. As the Android ad campaign goes, “Be together, not the same.”
3 let Her know of social events in advance.
Introverts need to allot time for quiet and solitude in between socializing. Going to parties or big get-togethers are rarely spur-of-the-moment occasions; rather, they are carefully planned events scheduled ahead of time. During the holidays, when Enrico wants me to attend a party with him, he gives me several days to prepare myself for it. I realize that to an extrovert, that probably sounds ridiculous. But an introvert sometimes needs to be in the right frame of mind to mingle.
4 Figure out Her love language.
In the book The five love Languages, author Gary Chapman says people express and receive love in five ways, namely words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
Introverts tend to be sensitive and self-aware. As a result, they spend a lot of time thinking of their emotional needs in a relationship. If you want to please an introvert, be more perceptive of the way she expresses her love for you. It’s likely that’s also how she understands love from another person. If, for example, words of affirmation are what she uses to feel close to you, then do your best to show your affection in the same way.
5 love Her, But Don’t lose Yourself.
Healthy relationships always involve balance and reciprocity. Find a way to meet her halfway while still being true to your nature as an extrovert. If she’s a keeper, she won’t want you to change your personality for the sake of her convenience.
Similarly, accept that you will never completely understand her; that there will always be instances when you’ll wonder what she’s thinking. But if you’re in this for the long haul, my guess is, you love this about her too.