For Your guy

The chal­lenge is worth it.

Cosmopolitan (Philippines) - - News -

And how to deal when your girl would really rather stay home

1 re­mem­ber: she’s an in­tro­vert, not a recluse.

It’s too sim­plis­tic to au­to­mat­i­cally cat­e­go­rize her as an in­tro­vert and as­sume she fits a cer­tain mold. Or worse, think that be­ing an in­tro­vert is the same as be­ing an­ti­so­cial. Chances are, she still loves the com­pany of friends and can even be the life of the party when she feels like it. But the events she most likely en­joys are those that pro­vide an op­por­tu­nity to con­nect with other peo­ple on a deeper level be­yond the desul­tory small talk.

2 Dis­cover new in­ter­ests to­gether.

When En­rico and I first started dat­ing, it wor­ried me how dif­fer­ent we were from each other. But be­cause we both wanted our re­la­tion­ship to work, we did our best to dis­cover things that we could do to­gether as a couple.

Be­cause we found our com­mon ground, it got much eas­ier for the two of us to enjoy our other in­ter­ests separately. As the An­droid ad cam­paign goes, “Be to­gether, not the same.”

3 let Her know of so­cial events in ad­vance.

In­tro­verts need to al­lot time for quiet and soli­tude in be­tween so­cial­iz­ing. Go­ing to par­ties or big get-to­geth­ers are rarely spur-of-the-mo­ment oc­ca­sions; rather, they are care­fully planned events sched­uled ahead of time. Dur­ing the hol­i­days, when En­rico wants me to at­tend a party with him, he gives me sev­eral days to pre­pare my­self for it. I re­al­ize that to an ex­tro­vert, that prob­a­bly sounds ridicu­lous. But an in­tro­vert some­times needs to be in the right frame of mind to min­gle.

4 Fig­ure out Her love lan­guage.

In the book The five love Lan­guages, au­thor Gary Chap­man says peo­ple ex­press and re­ceive love in five ways, namely words of af­fir­ma­tion, qual­ity time, gifts, acts of ser­vice, and phys­i­cal touch.

In­tro­verts tend to be sen­si­tive and self-aware. As a re­sult, they spend a lot of time think­ing of their emo­tional needs in a re­la­tion­ship. If you want to please an in­tro­vert, be more per­cep­tive of the way she ex­presses her love for you. It’s likely that’s also how she un­der­stands love from an­other per­son. If, for ex­am­ple, words of af­fir­ma­tion are what she uses to feel close to you, then do your best to show your af­fec­tion in the same way.

5 love Her, But Don’t lose Your­self.

Healthy re­la­tion­ships al­ways in­volve bal­ance and rec­i­proc­ity. Find a way to meet her half­way while still be­ing true to your na­ture as an ex­tro­vert. If she’s a keeper, she won’t want you to change your per­son­al­ity for the sake of her con­ve­nience.

Sim­i­larly, ac­cept that you will never com­pletely understand her; that there will al­ways be in­stances when you’ll won­der what she’s think­ing. But if you’re in this for the long haul, my guess is, you love this about her too.

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