Take the plunge.
How to deal when your man is a party animal…
Your extroverted man shares a certain similarity with Disney’s Aladdin: He wants to take you on a magic carpet ride and show you the world. This may come across as strange and dangerous, and you’ll definitely be venturing well out of your personal comfort zone. But his is a simple philosophy: Mingle, and get out and about. He is in his element this holiday season— what with all the parties and social gatherings— so now is the perfect time to see how he operates. Don’t worry: Even though magic carpets don’t have seatbelts, you can be sure that the ride will nonetheless be both safe and awesome if you follow these simple tips.
1 share Your worlds with each other.
Your definition of quality time probably has one or more of these things: a good book, a movie and TV shows, a nice cup of tea, your bed, and your favorite food. His? People, shots, subwoofers, shots, a game of some sort, lots of (borderline bastos) banter, more shots, and more people. What to do? Experience his world and likewise let him into yours. Spend equal amounts of each other’s “quality time” and everything will be gravy.
2 Be individuals, together.
The biggest thing is that, fundamentally, you are two different people. It doesn’t matter that you’re different. By respecting each other as people, you won’t be pressured into thinking that you have to do things together all the time. Doing so will establish your independence as a person, which is a big turn on for him.
3 Be there when He needs You.
You don’t have to be present for every single night out with your guy, but there will be certain times when he’ll really want you with him. Anticipate these occasions. They’re fairly easy to determine, anyway: he has a big race, has a company social with the boss, he’s playing a gig or has a show, or wants to introduce you to the homies. Yes, there will be loads of people, mostly strangers. It’s probably going to happen in a place that you find too big and too noisy, too. But your presence and moral support during these moments are greatly significant.
4 start a new HOBBY together.
Even though you have different outlooks on quality time, you can still create common ground. Take the plunge and suggest that you both try something that you’ve personally always wanted to do. Chances are your extrovert guy will be all for it. Martha and I, for example, took up tennis after realizing that we both enjoy watching it on TV together. I like that we get out, exercise, and meet new people at the court, and she likes it that we have something in common. We still suck at it, but at least we suck at it together.
5 trust Your extroverted man.
It’s really the only way it’ll work without you going bonkers. The line between friendly and flirty can be hazy, so be on point and work on distinguishing both. Just being friendly? Lay off him. Getting too flirty? Call him out on it. By doing so, you’ll be able to express yourself while establishing what’s cool and what isn’t. Talking about it allows you to understand each other better. Trust is a two-way thing. Trust that your man has your best interests at heart. And for you fellas who might be reading this right now: Don’t break your woman’s trust, make me look like an asshole, and ruin it for all of us.
So, you love people and people love you back. You shine in every social situation armed with nothing but your sharp wit, winning personality, and charm.
As luck would have it, you have fallen in love with (gasp!) an introvert. While the prospect of painting the town red with her by your side excites you, her idea of a perfect date includes staying in to watch Cinemaworld on cable and ordering pizza for dinner.
But despite all the evidence suggesting she is your polar opposite, you still dig her. You want to be with her even if you secretly find it weird that she goes on solo trips to the beach, and that she can enjoy dinner out by herself so long as she has a good book to keep her company.
This introvert-extrovert match-up is manageable. But over the holidays, when invites to parties and gatherings abound, it becomes a delicate situation that requires careful maneuvering, good foresight, and at times even badassery on the part of the extrovert boyfriend.
Enrico and Martha prove opposites do