It’s not just your bod that needs a good detox this new year—your dig­i­tal per­sona needs it too. it’s time to say no to nega.

Cosmopolitan (Philippines) - - News -

Be­cause be­ing pas­sive-ag­gres­sive is so 2015.

It’s the vin­di­ca­tion. It’s the feel­ing that you’re get­ting back at the per­son who slighted you by an­nounc­ing your an­noy­ance on­line. Whether it’s in a Face­book sta­tus or a Tweet, the witty one-liner gives us so much sat­is­fac­tion.

Kung umasta ka akala mo ang ganda mo. # Pretty-pret­ty­han

I am sorry you got of­fended when I called you a slut. I didn’t know it was a se­cret.

Ang ka­gan­da­han mo parang pass­word. Ikaw lang ang nakakaalam.

Hindi kita ni­lalait, dini-de­scribe kita!

We are all guilty of not ad­dress­ing the per­son who wronged us. In­stead, we pro­claim to our thou­sand friends that we have ac­tu­ally been wronged. “Take pity on me,” is what it really says, and also, “Tell me in the com­ments that you hate those kinds of peo­ple, too.”

You wait for some­one to ask if ev­ery­thing is okay or who is both­er­ing you, and feel­ing im­por­tant, you re­spond, “Never mind, this is just not worth my time.” Ex­cept that it was, or you wouldn’t have dropped that first patama line.

What is the sub­ject of your short rant sup­posed to do any­way? If she con­fronts you, she’s guilty. If he posts his own patama sta­tus, he’s just try­ing to make you look bad. So the per­son who is ob­vi­ously be­ing men­tioned (don’t fool your­self that the ab­sence of a name hides their iden­tity) just ig­nores it, but watches the en­su­ing gatong in the com­ments. She pre­tends noth­ing hap­pened and goes on as your friend, co­worker, or class­mate. But this time you both carry that anger around.

It’s in­cred­i­bly sat­is­fy­ing to broad­cast your re­sent­ments be­cause you’re not just run­ning to one friend, but to hun­dreds. A good friend will help you process how and why you’re mad and maybe even give the guilty party the ben­e­fit of the doubt. There is no such thing in a sta­tus up­date. We pick and choose the big­gest sin and high­light it. There will be no ques­tions or ra­tio­nal­iza­tions. Just the an­nounce­ment that your un­named of­fender is evil, and that’s that.

What hap­pens when you get over it? What if you re­al­ize you over­re­acted and the said friend has redeemed her­self some­how? Your patama rant is there for­ever. There is no true “delete” even if you erase it. You have ad­ver­tised your­self as bit­ter and con­temp­tu­ous, but also un­able to con­front your is­sues like an adult.

It’s funny be­cause we have be­come so care­ful in cu­rat­ing our so­cial me­dia pres­ence, al­low­ing only the best pho­tos and the tamest, most sober ac­tiv­i­ties to graze our on­line lives.

But the rants—the pas­siveag­gres­sive hir­its, the com­plaints about ev­ery per­son or es­tab­lish­ment, boss, or job—th­ese are what em­ploy­ers and su­pe­ri­ors no­tice when hir­ing a calm and ma­ture per­son.

If you’ve made your Face­book an all-out bitch fest, that rep­u­ta­tion is more damn­ing than hold­ing a beer in your hand.

Bato batosa


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