It’s not just your bod that needs a good detox this new year—your digital persona needs it too. it’s time to say no to nega.
Because being passive-aggressive is so 2015.
It’s the vindication. It’s the feeling that you’re getting back at the person who slighted you by announcing your annoyance online. Whether it’s in a Facebook status or a Tweet, the witty one-liner gives us so much satisfaction.
Kung umasta ka akala mo ang ganda mo. # Pretty-prettyhan
I am sorry you got offended when I called you a slut. I didn’t know it was a secret.
Ang kagandahan mo parang password. Ikaw lang ang nakakaalam.
Hindi kita nilalait, dini-describe kita!
We are all guilty of not addressing the person who wronged us. Instead, we proclaim to our thousand friends that we have actually been wronged. “Take pity on me,” is what it really says, and also, “Tell me in the comments that you hate those kinds of people, too.”
You wait for someone to ask if everything is okay or who is bothering you, and feeling important, you respond, “Never mind, this is just not worth my time.” Except that it was, or you wouldn’t have dropped that first patama line.
What is the subject of your short rant supposed to do anyway? If she confronts you, she’s guilty. If he posts his own patama status, he’s just trying to make you look bad. So the person who is obviously being mentioned (don’t fool yourself that the absence of a name hides their identity) just ignores it, but watches the ensuing gatong in the comments. She pretends nothing happened and goes on as your friend, coworker, or classmate. But this time you both carry that anger around.
It’s incredibly satisfying to broadcast your resentments because you’re not just running to one friend, but to hundreds. A good friend will help you process how and why you’re mad and maybe even give the guilty party the benefit of the doubt. There is no such thing in a status update. We pick and choose the biggest sin and highlight it. There will be no questions or rationalizations. Just the announcement that your unnamed offender is evil, and that’s that.
What happens when you get over it? What if you realize you overreacted and the said friend has redeemed herself somehow? Your patama rant is there forever. There is no true “delete” even if you erase it. You have advertised yourself as bitter and contemptuous, but also unable to confront your issues like an adult.
It’s funny because we have become so careful in curating our social media presence, allowing only the best photos and the tamest, most sober activities to graze our online lives.
But the rants—the passiveaggressive hirits, the complaints about every person or establishment, boss, or job—these are what employers and superiors notice when hiring a calm and mature person.
If you’ve made your Facebook an all-out bitch fest, that reputation is more damning than holding a beer in your hand.