Cosmopolitan (Philippines) - - Fun, Fearless Life - Cos­mopoli­tan

Every­one loves a train­wreck, right? After all, we put the likes of Brid­get Jones, Car­rie Brad­shaw, or Han­nah Hor­vath on pedestals, cham­pi­oning their in­abil­ity to throw blue-soup-free dinner par­ties, bal­ance a shoe addiction with be­ing able to pay their rent, or even main­tain nor­mal, adult re­la­tion­ships with both friends and ro­man­tic part­ners. Week after week (or, let’s be real, dur­ing a se­ri­ous Net­flix binge ses­sion), we watch them on our screens, vic­tims of the uni­verse and of their own lives, re­lat­ing both the mas­sive messes and the cringe­wor­thy minu­tiae of their lives to those of ours. june 2016

It isn’t even just ev­er­per­va­sive me­dia and con­tem­po­rary pop cul­ture that tell us it’s okay, some­times even de­sir­able, to be a hot mess—ide­ally, so long as you main­tain the “hot” as­pect of it. Even our own so­cial net­works have in­grained into our col­lec­tive psy­ches that it’s more than okay to not know how to sur­vive, day in and day out, without con­stantly screw­ing up. We’re see­ing peo­ple not just own up to but even proudly pro­claim how ter­ri­ble they are at this scary thing we now call #adult­ing. How­ever, like most things in our lives, it can be both a good thing and a bad thing.

We get it. It’s easy, and, in a way, con­ve­nient. Once the en­ter­tain­ment fac­tor is tran­scended—be­cause let’s face it, the sto­ries are, more of­ten than not, very, very en­ter­tain­ing in a can’t-look­away man­ner—lit­tle is ex­pected of The Train­wreck. Her friends even­tu­ally de­velop the men­tal­ity and the knowl­edge that she’s def­i­nitely go­ing to eff it up, whether “it” means plan­ning an out-oftown trip, not get­ting blind drunk and go­ing home with some skeevy, anony­mous dude, or even ar­riv­ing to a barkada brunch on time and not hun­gover. The Train­wreck in­ad­ver­tently sets the bar low for peo­ple’s stan­dards of her be­hav­ior and, ac­cord­ingly, she gets away with a lot. Who wouldn’t want a free pass for ev­ery­thing, right?

To be per­fectly hon­est, we’ve all been there. We’ve all been the train­wreck, the vic­tim, peo­ple whose mis­takes are fod­der for inu­man con­ver­sa­tions and Face­book On This Day re­mem­brances. Heck, some of us are still there, and that’s ex­actly why we’re not judg­ing the train­wreck for sim­ply be­ing a train­wreck. What we do won­der about, though, is whether this hot mess of a per­son is now what we as­pire to be­come. Sure, be­ing an adult, with all its re­spon­si­bil­i­ties and du­ties and de­mands, is painfully tax­ing, and OMGwe’re-so over-ev­ery­thin­git’s-mon­day- na- so-i-can’teven. Be­ing an adult can suck, and we’re all bound to fail at some point, but is fail­ure re­ally some­thing so glam­orous? Since when did we start hold­ing our fail­ures and not our abil­ity to rise above chal­lenges in such high es­teem? Since when did be­ing that per­son, the one who has to be res­cued from her­self, be­come the per­son we’re happy to be?

No per­son is per­fect, and every­one has a lit­tle bit of a train­wreck in them. That’s just called be­ing hu­man. At­tempt­ing to over­come dif­fi­culty, de­spite the fail­ures and the mis­steps, though? To achieve and be­come some­thing bet­ter than who and what you are at the present? That’s some­thing worth as­pir­ing to.

we’ve all been there.

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