I am a vir­gin and have been feel­ing sex­u­ally frus­trated, so I bought a vi­bra­tor. I’ve played with it for a bit but it doesn’t feel good…or bad! Am I do­ing some­thing wrong? A

Cosmopolitan (Philippines) - - Love, Lust & Other Stuff -

Wrong? Um, no. “Mas­tur­ba­tion takes prac­tice,” says Ba­be­land co­founder Claire Ca­vanah. (But un­like your child­hood pi­ano les­sons, this is prac­tice you’ll want to do.) First, ad­just your en­vi­ron­ment. Find a pri­vate space for you and your vibe to get to know each other. Light can­dles. Play the Week­end. Try on a new lacy bra. The point is to seek out what re­laxes you and makes you feel sexy. New­bies might pre­fer an ex­ter­nal vibe in­stead of one that pen­e­trates. Hold it against your clit (home to an Ikea’s worth of nerve end­ings), and ad­just it in a you-do-you way, even if it doesn’t lead to a full-blown O. “In­stead of think­ing, what am I sup­posed to feel?” Ca­vanah says, “just fol­low the plea­sure.”

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