Why’d I keep doing it? the sex. simple as that. ”
on might see us. Every time a friend would see me and call out my name, it felt like I would have a heart attack—i would almost throw up with nervousness. When I’d bring a girl to my place, I’d be terrified another woman would show up.
I planned everything, even my alibis. The secret wasn’t creativity, it was consistency. That’s why I was never found out. When something changes—your tone, your mood, your routine—you’ll be found out. That takes planning, and that means stress. Thankfully, only my friends would catch me, and the so-called Bro Code dictated that no one would ever speak of it. My exes still don’t know.
Why’d I keep doing it? The sex. Simple as that. I’ve seen it happen, though, that a lot of men have the emotional connections with multiple women, but for me, it was just sex. Most men try to hide behind the Bro Code that cheating is only cheating if you’re emotionally invested, but we all know that isn’t the case. Catalyst for Change I only stopped cheating when I met my current girlfriend. Aside from the fact that she kept up with my bullshit of me being me, because I’m not exactly the easiest person to get along with, she made me want to become a better man. She took care of me when I needed her.
I had been single eight months when I met her. I made a hit on her and, to tell you the truth, she and I started off as FUBUS. It was then that I started sleeping around less, not because I didn’t want to, but because I became so busy with work, and I spent all my spare time with her.
I could see myself spend- ing my life with her, and I’m secure in that. I can see beyond the sex now, and that’s only happened with her. I loved the others, as much as I could have then, but they can’t compare to this one. This one made me want to be better. But she never even went out of her way to change me.
She knows I was a womanizer, because when we met, we had common friends who knew about my escapades.
I’ve asked myself why I didn’t cheat on her, and I realized it was because I got everything that I needed. The sex, the love, everything. She’s the only girlfriend I’ve had who I was really proud to show off to my friends—she’s independent, she’s strong, she’s smart, she’s hot, she has her shit together.
I look back now, and the peak of my cheating and womanizing was probably the most stressful time of my life. It’s tiring, and although you could say I was successful, I just got tired of it. The rewards stopped outweighing the stress.
I’m not tempted to cheat anymore. Which isn’t to say that I don’t appreciate women now, but it’s gone from “I wanna sleep with her,” to “Yeah, she’s cute.” That’s as far as it goes.
Happiness wasn’t even the goal when I was cheating. It was just sexual satisfaction. But now, I’m happy. Do I think cheaters can be reformed? I was. Not all can, but yes, they can change. I think all cheaters consider stopping at some point. But sometimes it’s really meeting the right woman that will make them stop. Short of it being a psychological disorder, cheating can stop when a man finds the right person to be with. It sounds corny, but it’s true. With the right person, you won’t look for anything else. ■
once a Cheater, always a Cheater?