CONFESSIONS

Worst Tourist award, any­one?

Cosmopolitan (Philippines) - - Contents -

“I spent a se­mes­ter abroad dur­ing my ju­nior year of col­lege, and had made friends with my fos­ter par­ents’ teenage neigh­bors. I asked them the Ger­man trans­la­tion for ‘ Where is the mu­seum?’ Later on, I found out my friends had given me the trans­la­tion for ‘ Do you want a pic­ture of my pe­nis?’ No won­der that girl’s jaw dropped.” — JC, 22

“I’m Ja­panese, and some Filipino friends in­vited me to go wake­board­ing in La­guna. I’m afraid of the ocean, but I went along be­cause they were my only com­pan­ions that week­end. I ac­ci­den­tally let go of the safety ca­ble, so the boat sped ahead while I was left flail­ing around in the water be­cause I couldn’t get my feet out of the wake­board. Never. Again.” — shou, 19

“To wel­come me back to Cebu after three years of be­ing away, my fam­ily took me to a beach­side seafood restau­rant. I had a lit­tle too much to drink, so on our way out, I tripped and fell on some sharp rocks and badly scraped my knees. Need­less to say, I didn’t get to go swim­ming on that trip.” —MARIE, 21

“My boyfriend and I were on the Ngong Ping ca­ble car in Hong Kong. An­other cou­ple was seated in front of us. My stom­ach had been upset all day, and it couldn’t have picked a worse time— I let out a fart right then and there. To make mat­ters worse, my boyfriend tried to cover up for me by blam­ing it on the other cou­ple! I wanted the ca­ble car to snap.” —BRIELE, 19

“It was my first time in Sin­ga­pore, and my first time to swim in an in­fin­ity pool. I can­non­balled my way in, and when I sur­faced, the other tourists were whis­per­ing un­der their breath. Turns out I had lost my bikini top un­der­wa­ter!” —TINTIN, 26

“My cousins and I love to rough­house. Dur­ing a big fam­ily trip to Baguio, I jok­ingly grabbed my kid cousin by the col­lar and taunted, ‘ Where are you go­ing, freak?’ To my hor­ror, the lit­tle boy, who turned out not to be my cousin, started cry­ing. Boy, did I piss off his mom!” — PAT, 23

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