Let’s Get Real
“Imean, he doesn’t even know who Thomas Mars is.” I am at the salon one afternoon when this statement punctures the partial silence offered by my red plastic ear caps. In the mirror, I discreetly check out who this incredulous Phoenix fan is, but my view is obstructed by attendants and steaming apparatus.
“So what did you do?” another voice—her friend’s, I assume—pipes up. “Wala, I ghosted him,” Phoenix Fan says flippantly. “Ha?” Phoenix Fan’s Friend asks. “I thought you said he was nice and cute.” She sounds frustrated. So am I.
I know, I know. For most of us, “nice and cute” just won’t cut it. And rightfully so. We deserve more than nice and cute. We deserve smart and interesting and generous and talented and kindhearted and fun.
It’s the nonchalant ghosting I can’t quite get behind. Because if we can muster the courage to put ourselves out there and navigate the dating world, don’t we owe it to ourselves to muster the courage to end things clearly and candidly as well? To take ownership of our feelings and not hide behind cheeky, shallow terms like ghosting, benching, and bread crumbing? To be responsible enough to claim our hypercriticism (which we’re entitled to, don’t get me wrong) and say, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can be with you if you don’t know who Thomas Mars is”?
In this issue, Cosmo urges you to choose honesty. Whether it’s with the men you meet online (“In Defense of Dating Apps”), your female friends (“The Art of War”), or yourself (“Is He Really Emotionally Unavailable or Are You Expecting Too Much?”), we can all benefit from a bit more #truth in our lives. Even if it means acknowledging parts of ourselves—our superficial standards, our insecurities, or our fear of ending up alone—that we might not be so happy about. It’s a step in the right direction. We trust you’ll take it.
Ariana Grande is locked and loaded.
Uniqlo makes minimalist dressing way cooler.
the Instax mini 9 comes in flamingo pink!
smells like first dates and candy.
Ampalaya monologues is a sobering shot of honesty.
For shining, shimmering shoulders.
Light and refreshing, but packs a punch.