COSMO CON­TRACT

This is an agree­ment made by A Woman Sucked into the World In­side Her Lap­top (here­after re­ferred to as The Couch Potato).

Cosmopolitan (Philippines) - - Contents -

Binge-watch­ing in all its greasy glory.

The Be­gin­ning

Alone, wag­ing war against chicken pox at the ripe old age of 25, and on house ar­rest for 14 long days, The Couch Potato will seek com­fort and hu­man con­nec­tion in a Ja­panese re­al­ity show highly rec­om­mended both by friends and the Net­flix al­go­rithm. Her predica­ment will fi­nally give her time to watch all 46 episodes of Ter­race House: Boys & Girls in the City, a re­al­ity show that brings to­gether three straight men and three straight women un­der one roof. Watch­ing them go about their ev­ery­day lives—they’re free to come and go as they please, as long as they come home to the beau­ti­fully de­signed house at the end of the day—she will find the first few episodes slow yet strangely en­gross­ing. Sud­denly, 14 days of house ar­rest won’t seem too bad.

Turn­ing Ja­panese

Forced to fo­cus on the sub­ti­tles, The Couch Potato won’t miss a sec­ond of the po­lite in­tro­duc­tions (“I look for­ward to liv­ing with you”), the straight­for­ward flirt­ing (“So, just ca­su­ally, what is your type?”), and all the po­ten­tially ma­jor drama dif­fused with good ol’ face-to-face com­mu­ni­ca­tion. It won’t take long for her to get over her pox-in­duced mis­ery and be to­tally in­vested in their lives, tak­ing sides then switch­ing al­le­giances as the house­mates re­veal more of their true selves. Breez­ing through 17 episodes in one day, The Couch Potato will try to ra­tion the re­main­ing 29—and fail spec­tac­u­larly.

Dreams of sushi

If there is one thing that The Couch Potato will be more in­vested in than the messy dat­ing scene, it will be the food. How the house­mates have time and en­ergy to make hand-rolled temaki sushi, okonomiyaki, and chi­rashi bowls on a week­night, she will won­der as she mis­er­ably sur­veys her de­plet­ing sup­ply of gro­ceries and grow­ing pile of fast food con­tain­ers. This will drive her to get up and fi­nally hit back the friends she’s been ig­nor­ing to plan a Ja­panese food crawl for when she is fi­nally in the clear.

The new Be­gin­ning

De­spite sev­eral at­tempts—okay, just a cou­ple, re­ally—to drag her­self out of the

Ter­race­house black hole, The Couch Potato will fin­ish all 46 episodes in an em­bar­rass­ingly short amount of time. As the fi­nale cred­its roll, she will think of catch­ing up on lost sleep—un­til the Next Sug­gested Ti­tles show Alo­has­tate, a dif­fer­ent Ter­race­house set in Hawaii with new house­mates. Kon­banwa!

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Philippines

© PressReader. All rights reserved.