This is an agreement made by A Woman Sucked into the World Inside Her Laptop (hereafter referred to as The Couch Potato).
Binge-watching in all its greasy glory.
Alone, waging war against chicken pox at the ripe old age of 25, and on house arrest for 14 long days, The Couch Potato will seek comfort and human connection in a Japanese reality show highly recommended both by friends and the Netflix algorithm. Her predicament will finally give her time to watch all 46 episodes of Terrace House: Boys & Girls in the City, a reality show that brings together three straight men and three straight women under one roof. Watching them go about their everyday lives—they’re free to come and go as they please, as long as they come home to the beautifully designed house at the end of the day—she will find the first few episodes slow yet strangely engrossing. Suddenly, 14 days of house arrest won’t seem too bad.
Forced to focus on the subtitles, The Couch Potato won’t miss a second of the polite introductions (“I look forward to living with you”), the straightforward flirting (“So, just casually, what is your type?”), and all the potentially major drama diffused with good ol’ face-to-face communication. It won’t take long for her to get over her pox-induced misery and be totally invested in their lives, taking sides then switching allegiances as the housemates reveal more of their true selves. Breezing through 17 episodes in one day, The Couch Potato will try to ration the remaining 29—and fail spectacularly.
Dreams of sushi
If there is one thing that The Couch Potato will be more invested in than the messy dating scene, it will be the food. How the housemates have time and energy to make hand-rolled temaki sushi, okonomiyaki, and chirashi bowls on a weeknight, she will wonder as she miserably surveys her depleting supply of groceries and growing pile of fast food containers. This will drive her to get up and finally hit back the friends she’s been ignoring to plan a Japanese food crawl for when she is finally in the clear.
The new Beginning
Despite several attempts—okay, just a couple, really—to drag herself out of the
Terracehouse black hole, The Couch Potato will finish all 46 episodes in an embarrassingly short amount of time. As the finale credits roll, she will think of catching up on lost sleep—until the Next Suggested Titles show Alohastate, a different Terracehouse set in Hawaii with new housemates. Konbanwa!