Friends for Life?

Cosmopolitan (Philippines) - - From The Editor -

How many breakup sto­ries have you read re­cently? More than a hand­ful, I would guess. Heart­break, at least the ro­man­tic kind, is eas­ier to talk about. There is some­thing so ir­re­sistible about pound­ing away on a key­board and la­ment­ing a lost love over a glass of mer­lot, with Adele blar­ing in the back­ground. It’s cathar­tic. In­stinc­tive, even.

But when it comes to breakups be­tween friends, it’s harder to process. When a seem­ingly un­shake­able fe­male friend­ship turns sour, we turn silent. Is it be­cause fe­male friend­ships run deeper than most ro­man­tic re­la­tion­ships ever could, and there­fore cut closer to the bone when they end? Is it be­cause boys cheat­ing or ly­ing or let­ting us down would be a sweeter pill to swal­low than the bit­ter be­trayal only girls can ex­e­cute? Or is it be­cause, deep in­side, we know that a fall­ing out be­tween friends is never just about a sin­gu­lar in­ci­dent—the re­sent­ment bub­bling be­neath the sur­face months and years be­fore it ex­ploded—and never just one party’s fault?

In “Why Are Fe­male Friend­ships So Com­pli­cated?” in this is­sue’s Feel sec­tion, we dis­sect as­pects of girl friend­ships that go be­yond the slum­ber par­ties and GNOS. The re­al­ity is that com­pe­ti­tion can brew be­tween even the clos­est of friends; it’s com­pletely nat­u­ral for prox­im­ity to breed com­par­i­son. How you han­dle it—self­ishly or kindly, with hon­esty or with pas­sive-ag­gres­sion—is the cru­cial part.

At 32, with high school dy­nam­ics al­most two decades be­hind me, I thought friend­ships would be eas­ier. And to a cer­tain ex­tent, they are, be­cause by now I’ve learned to keep only the friends I can be my­self with. But adult friend­ships also re­quire more work, more sen­si­tiv­ity, more pur­pose—that’s what makes them worth it. Be­cause while it’s hard to write about friend­ships that fail, the friend­ships that do sur­vive make for the best sto­ries.

The new X-trail is per­fect for road trips to the beach. Wel­come the hol­i­day sea­son with ruf­fles and red. Heels, Pay­less. Light ‘em up with the Smash­box Cover Shot Pal­ette in Ablaze.

The phrase “gan­dara park” ex­ists for a rea­son!

Marla Mini­ano, Ed­i­tor in Chief

Treat your­self to a luxe lip­stick and a feel-good fra­grance.

Lasts longer than most Tinder flir­ta­tions.

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