Lost in Transition
WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, THE FOLLOWING HONOREES WILL BE AS REMEMBERED AS THIS YEAR’S GUSI PEACE PRIZE RECIPIENTS
JUN Even ABAYAafter 117[ 1] years, we still shouldn’t have an Aguinaldo in government. SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE IN RELATION TO THE ADMINISTRATION OF TRAFFIC LAWS Yield to the Roman Pope and the Filipino Pope.
OSCAR CRUZ [ 2] For a man who speaks so much against everything, he was too scared to be interviewed by Carlos Celdran.
PRISON NURSES No more Johnny Ponce Enriles to be spongebathed.
FIDEL V. RAMOS Twenty years later, not every Backstreet Boy deserves a comeback.
TAX RELIEF FOR THE MIDDLE CLASS
Hey Middle Class, except in sangguniang elections for certain barangays, your votes do not count! TITO Finally, BOBOYa presidential SYJUCO campaign that addressesour fictionists.the social ills prescribed by
P. Because BURGOS, rich MAKATIkids ruin everything.
URBANDUB All farewells should be sudden. Ask Sugarfree.
THE NEXT RAMEN HOUSE TO OPEN See entry for Tax Relief for the Middle Class.
JIM PAREDES [ 3] Never much of a singer, with Twitter he found his voice. Makes you wish he hadn’t.
NETIZENS Now a separate line item in financial reports submitted to the COMELEC
SULPICIO LINES Whoever was responsible for miraculously allowing it to survive until 2015 deserves canonization.
TOBY TIANGCO [ 4]
Gone but not forgotten.
Still the worst story in local film.
JAM 88.3 It’s like NU 107.5 minus any knowledge of actual music.
KIT TATAD [ 5] Most notable achievements in the past include reading Proclamation 1081 while scratching his balls on national television and sporting Nehru collars on the floor of the senate. Has since found God but continues to kiss Lucifer’s ass.
THE COMMISSION ON ELECTIONS Give them credit for no longer pretending that it’s all one big joke. PAGCORIt’s not gambling if you already know you’re getting screwed.
MARTINA true man ROMUALDEZof the people with posters all over North Forbes.
SHOWTIME Is there anything sadder than giving your own eulogy during your own show?
THE 16TH CONGRESS
Democracy at its finest finery.
RIGOBERTO TIGLAO [ 6] The former ambassador to Greece is now spitting nonsense on broadsheets. It’s what people call a Greek Tragedy.
BANGSAMORO BASIC LAW
Because who are we kidding, really? LIBERAL PARTY Six years later, it still thinks that the Aquino victory was a party victory. GRINGO HONASAN [ 7] Failed to destroy Philippine democracy (at least twice), is asking for your votes this coming election. THE COMMUNICATIONS GROUP How many idiots does it take to screw the president? RECENT HISTORY Vice President Bongbong Marcos sends his condolences.