Merry Christ­mas.

FHM (Philippines) - - Contents - AL­LAN P. HER­NAN­DEZ Act­ing Ed­i­tor in Chief al­lan.her­nan­dez@sum­mit­

I’m start­ing the Yule­tide sea­son this early be­cause Jose Mari Chan. Yes, we talked with him (Jose Mari Chan Wishes You a Very Merry Christ­mas,

pp. 52-56) be­cause the –ber months are here and we’ve seen the memes. Right off, Mr. Chan would like you to know that he does not own Christ­mas. He also does not con­trol the speak­ers in malls from Septem­ber straight through De­cem­ber.

He finds it ridicu­lous and pre­pos­ter­ous that we think so and wish we’d just quit it. But of course he would never say that. Mr. Chan is the most po­lite per­son you will ever meet, and his smile is so light that I feel so much joy right now I want to break out into song. Let’s sing Merry Christ­mas, and a happy hol­i­day… You prob­a­bly were about to sing along, too. And this is why, de­spite Mr. Chan’s protests, we are all primed to hear his voice coo­ing un­til De­cem­ber.

Espe­cially in malls. By now they will have al­ready ac­ti­vated their hol­i­day mind con­trol pro­to­cols. The Christ­mas tree will be set up four months ahead of sched­ule, right where ev­ery­one can see it, and “Christ­mas In Our Hearts” will be heard through the speak­ers, to bring us cheer and sub­lim­i­nally sug­gest that there are count­less gifts to buy so part with your money now.

But we won’t mind, be­cause it’s Christ­mas. Okay, again, all to­gether now…let’s sing Merry Christ­mas and a happy hol­i­day…

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