I don’t know what is more tragically funny—
not being there when the Bubble Gang girls were shooting this month’s cover, or having to look at before-and-after photos of Xander Ford and the other patients of plastic surgeon Dr. Eric “Doc Yappy” Yapjuanco, while nervously holding my own nose, making sure it was still in place.
Both actually happened in this issue that has turned out to be one of the most packed issues we’ve had the pleasure of delivering.
The idea for an eight-babe extravaganza (Sleepovers Are Fun!, p. 22) wasn’t even ours to begin with—it was the girls’. It was Bubble Gang’s 22nd year and they wanted to do something big. When we got a call for it, there was no way we would say no. And when shoot day came, I had to call in sick.
There they were: Kim Domingo, Chariz Solomon, Jackie Rice, Valeen Montenegro, Denise Barbacena, Arra San Agustin, Lovely Abella, and Arny Ross in one studio, in sleepwear, simulating a slumber party. To have been the one guy in the middle of it all was the dream made real, but I couldn’t make it.
Often, when I tell people I work for FHM, the first thing they say is “so nandun ka sa mga shoot?” This is one of those times when I will lie, because if I tell them I wasn’t, they will say, “petmalu ka! Di ka lodi! Angat ka!” Apparently, backward words are the current funny now (for how long, I don’t know), and that last one, when un-reversed, does not mean I am above them all. Far from it.
As for Doc Yappy (How To Replace A Face, p. 60), the Xander Ford Big Reveal shook up social media on the month we began putting this issue to bed. While everyone else was having a blast bashing the erstwhile Marlou Arizala, we thought the better story was the guy who worked on his face. If he can do miracles like that, then everyone gets a fair chance at taking a celebrity-grade selfie.
And then he shows me before-and-after photos of his work to prove it. They were unbelievable. It’s like entire new faces were grafted onto old ones. Their noses stood beaming and proud.
But I like my flat nose. I’m keeping it.
ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ Acting Editor in Chief firstname.lastname@example.org