THINGS WILL BE BIG IN 2018

We set our radars to what’s uso next year

FHM (Philippines) - - CONTENTS - WORDS ASH MAHINAY IL­LUS­TRA­TIONS WAR ESPEJO

THE BIG 3 Face­book groups

From What’s Your Ulam Pare? and Clas­sic Pare® Ti­tos and Ti­tas of Manila to non-groups but pretty-much-groups like Dash Cam Di­aries Philip­pines, we ex­pect more hive minds to pop up as Pi­noys use FB less for trolling and more for ac­tual so­cial con­ver­sa­tion. We also ex­pect Face­book to rec­og­nize the po­ten­tial of groups and jam them full of ads and spon­sored posts soon.

Traf­fic

Their an­tics last year have con­firmed that the LTFRB, MMDA, and other rel­e­vant (or is that ir­rel­e­vant?) agen­cies have fully lost the plot when it comes to get­ting a han­dle on our traf­fic sit­u­a­tion. That is why we fully ex­pect the grid­lock to get worse in 2018 as we wait for all the promised gov­ern­ment in­fra­struc­ture to come on­line not next year, but by next freak­ing decade.

Mga nakik­iuso sa World cup 2018

We aren’t a foot­balling na­tion, yeah yeah, but ex­pect the band­wagon to be real in June once the games kick off in Rus­sia–reach­ing fever pitch dur­ing the fi­nals. Spe­cial shoutout to the cring-y “Pi­noy pride! Did you know Player X is .0001% Pi­noy?” if some­one with a speck of Filipino blood makes it any­where near the fi­nals.

Food

Our wal­lets will feel like a damsel tied to the tracks as the in­com­ing TRAIN (the gov­ern­ment tax re­form, not the lo­co­mo­tive) rolls in to ruin lunch bud­gets every­where. “Tu­big na lang ang laman ng ref” will be­come a com­mon re­frain due to the dou­ble whammy of the sug­ary drinks and fuel taxes. But we don’t think that will slow down the rate of gen­tri­fi­ca­tion out­side Manila as hip­ster food takes over as the new pro­vin­cial food–so long to home­cooked fare and hello to Ig-wor­thy ta­ble set­tings and chalk­board menus, no mat­ter where in the 7107 you are. Se­ri­ously, we don’t see any­one post­ing pic­tures of good old pa­luto any­more! Mean­while in the metro, neon light fix­tures are the new ma­son jar as ev­ery spot worth con­sid­er­ing for a date must do so by daz­zling you with some bright lights. As you can see, it’s not re­ally in­no­va­tion in food nowa­days but am­bi­ence and pre­sen­ta­tion that gets peo­ple hyped.

Fash­ion

Real talk: step into a fast fash­ion store and the busiest rack in the menswear depart­ment is of­ten the one marked “SALE.” So rather than wait for goods to drop in price, we say sup­port lo­cal and get some taste­ful but lower-priced garms to be­gin with–es­pe­cially as pop-ups and cheap ship­ping make it less of a chore to seek them out than ac­tu­ally go­ing to a tra­di­tional mall. An­other move­ment is a lowkey move away from cop­ping sneak­ers and in­stead spend­ing hefty amounts on col­labs and lim­ited edi­tion clothes.

Shoe lust will never go away, but maybe the fa­tigue of a few crazy years of hype has fi­nally set­tled in.

en­ter­tain­ment

Did you know that Mer­riam Web­ster picked “fem­i­nism” as the word of the year for 2017? There’s been a lot of move­ment to get things right, so we think 2018 will be an­other ban­ner year for fe­male em­pow­er­ment–and we’re fil­ing this un­der en­ter­tain­ment as Hol­ly­wood con­tin­ues their big detox from all the rape-y dudes in power. Go­ing lo­cal, as we write this our re­li­able sources say that John Lloyd Cruz and Ellen Adarna are ex­pect­ing a baby. This should rekin­dle the hype around the most un­likely cou­ple of 2017. Did any­one se­ri­ously pre­dict them get­ting to­gether? On the topic of sur­prises, do you re­mem­ber when you woke up one day and #Kath­niel was sud­denly not the top tan­dem any­more? We also think we’re due for an­other suc­ces­sion in num­ber one love team as #Bailona (that would be Bai­ley May and Ylona Gar­cia for ti­tos not in the know. Ylona is cute. We don’t care about the guy,) over­takes #Ja­dine to let them con­cen­trate on other more ma­ture things like en­dors­ing al­co­hol and film­ing more sex scenes. And hope­fully shoot­ing an FHM cover, of course. Just Na­dine we mean. On the other hand, Ang Probin­syano gets ex­tended again, ab­so­lutely re­fus­ing to move on–maybe they’re try­ing to chase Mara Clara’s four year and six months record for long­est te­len­ov­ela ever.

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