Despite all-star cast, ‘Baywatch’ reboot stays stuck in the sand
of time, all in order to make room for more of Johnson and Efron’s endless bickering over who’s a bigger boy.
With so much wasted potential, it’s hardly surprising that Baywatch went t hrough s i x different screenwriters, a franchise dream team that is, collectively, responsible for Night At The Museum, Freddy Vs. Jason, and The Smurfs. Here, they’ve designed another limp, shallow content-delivery machine that’s concerned only with hitting the notes legally required to use the Baywatch name.
That philosophy continues right down to the obligatory “surprise” cameos from David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson, who, much like the constant slow motion, are there simply to congratulate the audience for getting the reference. After all, nobody – not even the filmmakers – cares about Baywatch all that much. Yet the joke’s on them: In spoofing something so forgettable, they’ve made something even less memorable. ( Club)