call- out culture
Different people share how they deal when mobs form on social media and go on witch hunts, even when they’ve got good intentions
A FRIEND ONCE SAID that social media has gone from a way to take a break to something you have to take breaks from The degree of power it wields—to connect, reach out, have our voices heard by people anywhere in the world—also comes with the potential to bring out the worst in us
A lot of us have, at some point, been unwitting spectators of personal and public drama ometimes we watch with anticipation, or even add fuel to the ame as celebrities and regular people alike are roasted—dragged, ended, canceled—in 1 0 characters or less
ticks and stones may break my bones, but that thoughtless comment might leave longlasting psychological scars If you believe online shaming is not a big deal because it’s “not real, think again In our efforts to defend our side of the argument—especially if it’s someone we don’t like—we forget the human on the other side of the screen
It really does a number on the self-esteem of those targeted Mica experienced it because of a real-life misunderstanding, and says that it de nitely took a toll on the self-esteem of those involved “ ou’d think you’re only as good as people say you are
andra also experienced a crossover from a real-life ght that eventually turned into straightup online bullying It ruined her reputation among her social circles, especially when an unknown number claiming to be her repeatedly harassed several people via text “I didn’t even know half the people who liked the tweets calling me out, she says about the ordeal er depression reached a point where she experienced suicidal urges—her real friends slept at her condo to make sure she didn’t do anything rash
lut-shaming will always be offensive and hurtful, no matter the medium oey (see sidebar became depressed, suffering from very low self-esteem and trust issues, with “episodes of thinking about why someone would shame [her] for a harmless post aye admits to becoming suicidal after reading insults about her appearance It takes some people a long time to learn how to be comfortable with themselves, and thoughtless words can derail all that progress
The many messages and threats that university professor athania Chua has received initially made her afraid for her safety “I went on a total lockdown in terms of my physical privacy and location for a while he quickly moved past these incidents, especially remembering that most of the accounts were created by social media machineries just to harass her
ona also quickly transcended her experience with online shaming, considering it relatively less severe but still annoying—especially since she was attacked for simply not liking a lm “I’m used to critiquing culture from a political and societal lens, but seeing those people ignore my critique and make fun of my points ou can’t help but get annoyed
Janice , on the other hand, was able to realize from her experience that sexist jokes and gender insensitivity could push someone over the edge “ hat I think is just an offhand or meaningless thing could be the thousandth time someone has heard that insult
The internet has made it impossible to commit mistakes unnoticed o much more is expected of us in terms of fact-checking, cultural sensitivity, and political correctness ur real-world misbehaviors might even be secretly recorded, like what happened to “Amalayer irl back in 2012, when a video of aula Jamie alvosa was recorded screaming “I’m a liar? at someone else on the LRT had made the rounds a few years ago ( he has since used this incident as a learning opportunity to strengthen her faith and now works full-time for a Christian ministry
Janice mentions that people calling you out isn’t always bad “Realize that they’re coming from a different place than you are, and their thoughts are shaped by experiences Listen to what they’re trying to tell you
Although there are people like Janice who manage to be re exive while being shamed online, there are more tactful ways to correct someone that don’t involve embarrassing them in front of their whole friends list Like in real life, you’re likely not going to listen to someone’s points if they come at you with hostility and disrespect Mica points out, “There are better and more private ways of handling con ict, that won’t involve attacking the person publicly More often than not, it puts you under a bad light as it re ects your personality
This is especially true of those who let their prejudices show in their online comments, like those who slut-shamed oey and aye More people are becoming aware of the faults of slut-shaming, but it still happens Jane , who witnessed her resulting depression rsthand, adds, “I wish people would let others do whatever makes them feel good if it doesn’t hurt anyone else
ona mostly dealt with online shaming by exercising her right to use Twitter’s mute function he also advises that “a solid, objective view of the conditions you’re being put in helps, especially if you aren’t doing anything wrong If you’re dealing with a serious case of harassment, the report and block buttons have got you nline harassment is the main reason social media sites have those functions in the rst place
athania has a similar view of the trolls in her situation he sees them as noise that distracts from the messages she wants to convey “I remember all the people I’m doing it for, the people who [need] someone to speak out on their behalf er advice to those who experience online harassment is to remember who you are as a person, in spite of the insults or lies you may read about yourself “ o not allow them to make judgments about who you are These people have only judged you by a series of tweets, or even propaganda spread against you If you know who you are and what you stand for, the battle will be a bit easier
if cult as it may feel to move out of a headspace where you keep thinking about your online presence, you have every right to take a social media sabbatical when it becomes too much A few respondents acknowledged the fact that we don’t live on the internet alone At the end of the day, we are not con ned to an online space a la Black Mirror
hether your battle is to shed light on sociopolitical issues, comment on new forms of art and media, or practice self-love by posting your out ts, “you have to take your tweets to the street, as athania quips “Real battles are won of ine It can’t be all social media, all like, share, retweet ltimately, your actions have to speak much louder than what a post would say