In the end

Mabilug a yatu karing milabas a panaun angga na king kasalungsungan atin lang miyayaliwang iriya balang metung a bangsa. Ating menibatan king minunang panaun a dala da reng dayung dintang bang makisantung, makipaglayunan o agya mang manyakup kareng disnan da.

King kapamilatan ning daralan dang belwan o agya mang maling kapanwalan, deng bakal dang iriya milikas karing dasnan dang memalen lakwas na nung ituru da ing karelang daralang kasalpantayanan o pamanyamba?mayap man iti o ali. Sangkan-sangkan lang miturung pamanyulat at pamamasa dapot ing ituru da makapagbayu king pamisip at panugali da ring karelang tuturwanan.

Deng tuturwanan ala lang male king makapampan dang sangkan ding manalakaran anting talaturu dapot king kamatutwanan tuturu da la reting talapagral da bang ing iriya maging sangkap na na ning karelang kalinangan, ila at ding kamaganak da, ding anak at maging anak da pati na ring dai pang datang king payntungulang panaun. Kanita na misalaksak ing maling belwan kambe da ring iriya a ditak-ditak da namang aburi at akasanayang panwalan at ipapanwala karing aliwa.

Mumuna, bana-banayad pamu bang e binang ulata ing kapagnasan dang mamirayit dapot king kelambatan gawan da nang pamatakut ing iriya bang ing makasalikut dang sangkan matupad na. E da balu ding tuturwanan mababaldug na la king talagang alang sikoti ning kanita bala alang ulaga at kabaldugang iriya.

Masilu na la kanita anting babing dikut king lubid a sasalikut da bang sari kalilwan da lang amulang ding alang-kamale-male talapagaral da. Ing iriya malyari dang gamitan bang lakwas da la pang apapamintwan keng kaburyan da ring karelang tuturwanan o mekad mumulangan da.

Ing patibung dakal ya arakap at ding dayu ila nang mag-ari at ila na mu naman ding maging pari karing karelang asukul kapamilatan ning pamanuru dang ikalasun ding isip da. Ditak-ditak na la kanitang gumamit karing iriyang tiru da bang nabangnan da iti.

Dake Talabaldugan: 1. kapabalwan – (palagyu) payabut, pabalu, kapanyawsan, ipamalita. English –.notice, announcement, memorandum, information. Alimbawa king pamangamit: “Alang kapabalwan ing gagawan dang pamanibag karing saplad king Dakilang Ilug ning Indung Kapampangan inya mengabigla la ngan deng memalen a mituturan man o ali.”

2. kapkáp¹ – (palagyu) manaswal, mamulatlat. English – feeling or frisking (in pockets or bags, etc.). Alimbawa king pamangamit:

“Who cares if one more light goes out?” Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington sang. For fans like us, we definitely do care. We do not need another lost flicker, not after Soundgarden’s Chris Cornell, or the many musicians who took out their own candle lights. Their music was very much part of our high school lives, especially that five-note intro that starts with “One thing… I don’t know why”.

Ushering the millennium, Linkin Park became the alternative to the boy/ girlband-saturated music scene. Fifteen years have passed but I can still sing the lines of their Hybrid theory songs. It was not only that grungy screams, sharp distortions, and deep rapped poetry that appealed to us youngsters with our teenage angst, the rebellious sound expressed our fears and internal struggles. It made us feel that we’re not alone. Unfortunately, this ends with one more light out.

People ask, “what makes one finally kick the chair? To numb one’s self and die inside?” Escape? Humans will always seek to escape reality – this gloomy, dark and corrupted world. Even a tourism guy like me who has to exude fun and positivity knows what it is. I have personally seen its face, I have struggled against it… and I won. But there are those who are still there; battling depression, doubting their value and existence, or struggling to face challenges after challenges.

The inner demons are there, fed and fattened by the elected medicine – alcohol, drugs, or what have you. For me, I had alcohol. I was dependent on it for many years that started in that little sip in college. I had to drink to sleep every night which is haunted by my contemplation of life’s absurdity. It did not help that I was a reader of Camus, Nietzsche, and Sartre. It didn’t help that I easily become miserable with the pitiful and wicked things around me – disease, poverty, power politics, war, the human suffering in general. That is why I thought of it, you know, who would want to become part of this dark world? I was drowning and struggling for air. Thankfully, I was saved by a little boy in that rainy August.

Chester was on that struggle too. He was bullied, molested, and had a tough childhood. He had kept those agonizing experience deep down which would be later used as embers to their raw music. Despite the band’s success, he himself said that even successful people are not immune to the human experience; that, “success does not equate to happiness”, maybe musicians are even more exposed to the darkness of their arts. He was on deeper water and worse, a metal ball chained on his leg. Even his family was not enough to save him from that murky pit.

I wouldn’t really know what it felt like for those who chose that way. I can only tell my story but not theirs. I had a friend who shot himself in the head, and until now, I would never really understand why he pulled it. I mean, I can understand the feeling, but not the extent of its effects to a person.

“Alang patugut a kapkap ing gewa da reng pulis kareng bulsa at buslu ning dayung singkanan dang mendukut.”

3. kapkáp² – (palagyu) kalap, manintun gamit la reng gamat. English – groping for unseen things. Alimbawa king pamangamit: “Manikwa yang parus-parus keng bebe ilug ing manasan keng mung kayang kalap.”

4. kapiadyan – (palagyu) uyat amanu “adya”, pamagadyang makapayuna. English – readiness, preparedness, preparation. Alimbawa king pamangamit: “Nung atin kang kapiadyan king nanu mang sigwa e ka tambing talab keng nanu mang kasakitan.”

5. kapibabatan – (palagyu) English – salang king kasakitan, kaplas o nanu mang e mayap a daralanan o daranasan. Alimbawa king pamangamit: “Ditak na mung kapibabatan at miyalilan nang kasaplalan ing sadyang kasakitan.”

IRIYANG KAPAMPANGAN: Ing pisabyang iriya king aldo iti: “Deng mipalsinta e la dapat mipamye matilus o mataram a ampang king balang metung, uling pamikawani ing kararasnan da.” Atin lang kabaldugan ding makapalub a amanu king iriyang ini at mekad tutu la pin uling mapalyaring neng atin lang sandatang makayadya, deti ring gamitan dang pamala o agyang pamatakut angga na king gamitan da la nung e la mikasundu at miras keng pamipate ra. Dagdag pa ing malalam a kadwang kabaldugan a nung deng mipalsinta atin lang makasalikut a kapanyiran laban king balang metung sandata la wari deting malyari dang gamitan kabud atin lang pipate o pipagkasira. Tutu ya ing iriya!

Agkatan da kang mambag o midake nanu mang Kapampangan a kawatasan, sanese, sisti, kasuryan, iriya anting bayung dagdag o nanu mang dikil king Kapampangan. Nanu mang kutang o sisti king misulat king Kapisik, malyaring ikutang o malinawan king talasulat. Pakiparala king ‘ //// email address, garciakragi@yahoo.com o iyaus o i-text king + 639988948624 o + 639423924399. Nung karapatdapat ya’t makayagpang king dalerayang tuntunang Kapisik, masa kang mirinang kapakibatan at milimbag ya sanu man kareng tutuking dangka ning Kapisik. Ipisik me, abe!