RE­LA­TION­SHIPS

Have you ever pon­dered the im­pact of all types of re­la­tion­ships on your life and ca­reer suc­cess?

SHE Carribean Magazine - - CONTENTS - By Angie Montoute

How they af­fect the Pro­fes­sional You.

We all know that re­la­tion­ships play a huge part in our lives, but what you may not have thought of is the dam­age, stag­na­tion and sab­o­tage they may be cre­at­ing in ev­ery as­pect of your life. Yes, I’m talk­ing about your love life, fi­nances, health, emo­tions and pro­fes­sion. Be warned—re­la­tion­ships are af­fect­ing the en­tirety of your be­ing.

As you move though life tack­ling the in­tri­ca­cies of climb­ing the pro­fes­sional lad­der and de­vel­op­ing your skill set while simultaneously build­ing a house­hold, your ca­reer can be a chal­lenge. This jug­gling act can be less dif­fi­cult when we un­der­stand that there are many types of re­la­tion­ships and all of them can im­pact the pro­fes­sional you.

Con­trary to west­ern­ised ide­ol­ogy, re­la­tion­ships are much more than col­lab­o­ra­tions that we have with peo­ple. They are al­liances which im­pact the level of suc­cess or fail­ure ex­pe­ri­enced in life. For in­stance, your dis­ci­plined and dili­gent re­la­tion­ship with your hobby, tal­ent or dream can cat­a­pult you into fi­nan­cial in­de­pen­dence and suc­cess, like Serena Wil­liams, Oprah Win­frey or St Lu­cia’s Top Chef Nina Comp­ton.

There are re­la­tion­ships; with “things” such as cars, gad­gets and de­signer clothes; re­la­tion­ships with habits, be­hav­iours and be­liefs. There are emo­tional re­la­tion­ships which man­i­fest in us be­ing vic­tims, con­stantly mak­ing ex­cuses, ra­tio­nal­is­ing our point of view and cre­at­ing ro­man­ti­cised fan­tasies ver­sus the re­al­ity of be­ing with an un­avail­able lover.

What about our re­la­tion­ship with the present which pre­vents hap­pi­ness and peace be­cause of the per­cep­tion and af­fil­i­a­tion with the past and the fu­ture? Which I must point out is im­pact­ing the pro­fes­sional you.

How many of us are liv­ing with re­gret in a spi­ral of erod­ing self-es­teem be­cause of what we did or did not do, or are robbed of our dreams be­cause we choose re­la­tion­ships of fear and pro­cras­ti­na­tion.

Bite the bul­let and dump re­la­tion­ships that don’t serve you; in­stead align with those that em­power and build self-es­teem with char­ac­ter­is­tics like dis­ci­pline, con­sis­tency, de­ter­mi­na­tion and stick­a­bil­ity, all of which make nav­i­gat­ing the pro­fes­sional lad­der less chal­leng­ing.

In my more than twenty years as a life coach, many clients have asked in­ter­est­ing ques­tions about re­la­tion­ships such as no com­mit­ment common law al­liances, de­sires for same sex part­ner­ships or the pain of do­mes­tic abuse. The main ques­tion they want an­swered is how can their lives be fixed.

Hu­man be­ings have the abil­ity to have in-depth con­ver­sa­tions, but with­out the knowl­edge of a win-win ap­proach and what’s best for the re­la­tion­ship, we con­stantly mis­com­mu­ni­cate, step­ping on each other’s feel­ings like ele­phants. There can be much par­ry­ing from ver­bal,

Hu­man be­ings have the abil­ity to have in-depth con­ver­sa­tions, but with­out the knowl­edge of a win-win ap­proach and what’s best for the re­la­tion­ship, we con­stantly mis­com­mu­ni­cate, step­ping on each other’s feel­ings like ele­phants.

emo­tional and phys­i­cal blows not just from an out­side abuser but also from self-sab­o­tag­ing be­hav­iours—that’s you by the way! The neg­a­tive mind­set im­pacts any true team player’s thought process and the power of toxic thoughts per­vade.

Let me ask you this: Is the mis­tress “mash­ing” up your re­la­tion­ship. I bet you im­me­di­ately think I mean the fe­male ‘ja­bal’, but there are other ‘mis­tresses’ like al­co­hol, the vo­ra­cious es­capism of sports or read­ing, go­ing out and be­ing any­where but home, ex­ces­sive sleep­ing, 24/7 so­cial me­dia, gambling, pornog­ra­phy and the list goes on... They take pri­or­ity, they get at­ten­tion, you’d swear it’s a woman ( or man for that mat­ter), as you choose to spend more and more of your time with your ‘mis­tress.’

So all in all, the mul­ti­fac­eted na­ture of your re­la­tion­ships of­fers clues to your life, ex­pos­ing your weak­ness and strengths, ul­ti­mately of­fer­ing lessons that you can choose—if you wish—to lis­ten to and learn.

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