WORK Un­em­ploy­ment can rob any­one of their self es­teem, and re­la­tion­ships suf­fer when the pres­sure is on. So how do you of­fer your sig­nif­i­cant other the right sup­port—with­out sound­ing like you're nag­ging?

SHE Carribean Magazine - - BASIC CENTS -

When your man has been out of work for too long, the dif­fi­cul­ties, both financial and emo­tional, can drive a wedge through the re­la­tion­ship. The key to solv­ing the prob­lem is to help your part­ner find his mo­ti­va­tion to be suc­cess­ful in the job search.

Em­ploy­ment data from the re­gion sug­gests that fe­males are far­ing much bet­ter than males in find­ing work. This may be due to dis­crim­i­na­tory prac­tice by some em­ploy­ers where they are able to pay less for fe­males com­pared to male em­ploy­ees. But what­ever way you look at the fig­ures, the un­em­ploy­ment rate amongst Caribbean males is far too high.

When a fam­ily de­pends on the man for their in­come or per­haps both part­ners need to work to be able to keep the fam­ily in home, food and cloth­ing, it is im­por­tant that women en­cour­age their men not to sit idle, and try to help them find work.

If some mem­bers of the fam­ily are work­ing and oth­ers aren't, it is en­cour­age­ment of the right kind that will help get ev­ery­one con­tribut­ing to the house­hold in­come, and when they do, ev­ery­one will ben­e­fit.

Some­times, when peo­ple are out of work for a long time, they be­come de­pressed about find­ing work and start ex­pect­ing to be un­suc­cess­ful. This leads to feel­ings of hope­less­ness as peo­ple won­der why they should even ap­ply for jobs, an­tic­i­pat­ing that they are al­most cer­tainly go­ing to be re­fused.

Some job seek­ers feel they have a lack of con­trol over the sit­u­a­tion, be­cause of fail­ing economies, em­ploy­ers' strin­gent re­quire­ment and the im­pres­sion that other job seek­ers have bet­ter CV’s.

Search­ing for a job is of­ten called a num­bers game, and as you get re­fused more and more times, you be­gin to ex­pect a lack of acceptances for in­ter­views.

Many job seek­ers have pre­vi­ously been em­ployed for a long pe­riod with one busi­ness and find them­selves out­side their com­fort zone as they search for a new job, be­cause this means talk­ing to strangers and ask­ing for help. Not know­ing how to com­pile a CV or ap­ply for a job can be­come ex­tremely de­mo­ti­vat­ing for job seek­ers. Once an­other per­son in the fam­ily be­comes the main in­come earner, the other part­ner may suf­fer from a lack of re­spect, es­pe­cially if they are re­minded how use­less they are. A mix­ture of con­fu­sion and em­bar­rass­ment causes the job seeker to be­come more de­pressed.

Telling some­one how ter­ri­ble they are will not mo­ti­vate them to get out and find work. It is bet­ter to show pa­tience and love. By ac­cept­ing the dif­fi­cul­ties of find­ing work, it be­comes eas­ier to sup­port the job seeker, but it doesn't help when you take over the job search for them; they need to be ac­tive them­selves, and keep striv­ing to find that elu­sive work place­ment.

De­vel­op­ing new skills and de­cid­ing which trans­fer­able skills you have will help you look to­wards a dif­fer­ent ca­reer path, open­ing up more po­si­tions and pos­si­bil­i­ties. A de­ci­sion­mak­ing abil­ity within one industry can be ap­plied to an­other, so en­cour­age your loved one to stretch them­selves.

Em­ploy­ers are seek­ing a range of skills which in­clude punc­tu­al­ity, great time man­age­ment and at­ten­tion to de­tail. When some­one presents them­selves as a can­di­date with a range of abil­i­ties, a will­ing­ness to help oth­ers and to ac­cept sub­stan­tial re­spon­si­bil­ity, they are of­fer­ing trans­fer­able skills which will make you more at­trac­tive to em­ploy­ers in their job search.

Re­mem­ber, your unemployed part­ner needs your sup­port and strength to help keep them mo­ti­vated, not a nag who will make them feel even worse.

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