SHED­DING THE SIDE CHICK LA­BEL

The Star (St. Lucia) - Life Begins 2 Nite - - CONTENTS - Reprinted from the Phoenixnew­stimes.com

We don't con­done hav­ing or be­ing a side chick, but the fact of the mat­ter is that it hap­pens. Not ev­ery­one can be the starter all the time, so some ladies end up set­tling into their role as a back-up, re­gard­less of their in­ten­tions. Just be­cause you don't know you're a side chick doesn't mean you're not, but there are a lot of red flags you can look for if you think you might be.

1. He's "not into la­bels" on re­la­tion­ships.

Sure, some guys might just be a lit­tle afraid of a re­la­tion­ship due to pre­vi­ous re­la­tion­ships or gen­eral lack of trust, but if ev­ery time you ask him about the sta­tus of the two of you he dives away from the topic with an "I don't like la­bels" or a "let's just be us" then you prob­a­bly should look into whether or not he's ac­tu­ally sin­gle in the first place. To be fair, if you never ask, then he never has to an­swer, so that's kinda your own fault.

2. He al­ways wants to go to your place.

For one thing, a side chick might not ever see where her dude ever lives, but if she does, it wasn't his idea. If you feel like you're host­ing a lot of "chill" time (which is almost never just "chill­ing"), you might be a side chick. Sure, some guys are just a lit­tle an­ti­so­cial, but when he never wants to spend time any­where other than your place, there's a good chance that he's keep­ing you a se­cret from some­one.

3. He never spends the night.

Maybe he has to work in the morn­ing or maybe he for­got to bring over his lucky box­ers that he al­ways sleeps in (trust us, dudes do some weird stuff like that). But if he's leav­ing in the mid­dle of the night ev­ery time he goes over to your place, it's a good sign that he may be go­ing home to some­one else. There are some guys out there who just hate spend­ing the night, but even they should be able to give you a night ev­ery once in a while. Shar­ing a bed dur­ing a week­end ho­tel trip doesn't count ei­ther, be­cause that seems like a clas­sic cheat­ing move in our book.

4. You only go on week­night dates.

Sim­ply put, week­ends are re­served for ac­tual girl­friends (or "main chicks" if you're se­ri­ously ter­ri­fied of com­mit­ment). There's noth­ing wrong with a Wed­nes­day night date or meet­ing for lunch on a Fri­day, but if that's the only time he can see you, there's a good chance you're deal­ing with a dude in a re­la­tion­ship.

5. You never get to meet his friends.

A lot of guys are hes­i­tant to in­tro­duce their love in­ter­ests to their friends, as they're con­cerned one won't mesh well with the other. That said, if he isn't in a re­la­tion­ship, he'll prob­a­bly let you meet some of his friends so they can see you ac­tu­ally ex­ist. Ev­ery guy has that one friend who al­ways claims to be see­ing some hot gal but she hap­pens to be gone all of the time, and we don't want to be that guy. On a re­lated note, if he's al­ways go­ing out with his friends but never tells you where they're go­ing, count that as a dou­ble red flag, be­cause he might think you're go­ing to track him down.

6. He al­ways has his phone on him.

For one thing, if you were re­ally re­la­tion­ship ma­te­rial in his eyes, he prob­a­bly wouldn't be glued to his phone all the time. We're not say­ing you're def­i­nitely a side chick just be­cause he's con­stantly tex­ting or Tweet­ing or post­ing sta­tus up­dates, but there's prob­a­bly some­thing go­ing on if he won't let you look at his phone. Beyond that, you're prob­a­bly a side chick if you text all the time but never talk on the phone, but you're def­i­nitely a side chick if he has you saved un­der a fake name. We don't per­son­ally know any guys who use mul­ti­ple phones, but that should be con­sid­ered an au­to­matic "yes" if you're won­der­ing if you're a side chick.

7. He won't hold your hand in pub­lic.

Ladies, some of us just aren't into pub­lic dis­plays of af­fec­tion, but there's a dif­fer­ence be­tween not want­ing to kiss you in front of friends and treat­ing your hand like the plague on a date. Don't get your­self in a tizzy if he doesn't want to kiss you or put his arm around you with his boys around, but it should cause a lit­tle bit of con­cern if he won't even hold your hand when it's just the two of you out in pub­lic. Ad­di­tion­ally, if he starts look­ing over his shoul­der or act­ing weirdly para­noid, it's prob­a­bly not be­cause he's wor­ried about a sud­den ninja at­tack. He's likely just mak­ing sure no one who knows his sig­nif­i­cant other is within eye­sight.

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