SEX FILES

The Star (St. Lucia) - Life Begins 2 Nite - - CONTENTS -

Even if you were the one to end your last re­la­tion­ship, ac­cept­ing that your ex is see­ing some­one new can be hard. Mak­ing this dis­cov­ery when you still have feel­ings for him is dou­bly painful. What­ever your post-re­la­tion­ship sit­u­a­tion, we have some help­ful strate­gies for han­dling the fact that your ex has moved on.

Stay calm.

Your first in­stinct may be to freak out as soon as you find out your ex has a new flame, but do your best to main­tain your com­po­sure. Al­low­ing your­self to fall apart will just send you into a down­ward spi­ral. Rather than wal­low in it, use the news as a sign it's time to move on. Call some girl­friends and meet for din­ner or cof­fee so you don't have to be alone. Talk about the sit­u­a­tion with them, but then cut your­self off from over-think­ing it.

Don't make com­par­isons.

If you end up hear­ing about what she does, what she looks like or how she dresses from mu­tual friends, the worst thing you can do is start com­par­ing your­self to the new woman. Whether he's dat­ing your phys­i­cal op­po­site or your dop­pel­ganger, what your ex does now that you're not to­gether is no con­cern of yours. Don't drive your­self crazy with the de­tails about his new girl­friend.

Avoid cy­ber stalk­ing.

If you and your ex are still con­nected via so­cial net­works, re­sist the urge to peek at his pro­file to see if he's posted pic­tures of his new flame. See­ing them to­gether in some loved-up pose is just go­ing to make you feel worse. Stay off of Face­book un­til you think you can han­dle the pos­si­bil­ity of see­ing them to­gether.

Don't re­live the breakup.

Hear­ing that your ex has found some­one new has the po­ten­tial to send you into a panic. That's un­der­stand­able, es­pe­cially if you're not over him. But try not to tor­ture your­self by go­ing over your breakup with a fine-toothed comb just be­cause you can't quite be­lieve he's moved on. The two of you just weren't meant to be -- so do your best to move on, too.

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