Spilling The Beans
Boyoboyoboy! What a month February turned out to be: Valentine’s, Independence, Good Service Awards . . . messieurs. Meanwhile tings getting’ rougher and rougher wid no ease-up in sight. People eh even talkin’ about better days anymore. Oh, well . . .
JADED: I never woulda believe it. Da Jade (not to be confused wid de new gemstone) so boldface she actually tellin’ people tings in de country bad. De woman post on Facebook dat when she get to de food festival in Vieux Fort she almost get a heart attack she find out de entry fee is ten dollars for adults and five for de children. Da Jade say if she had to pay to enter for herself an’ her family she woulda been left without even five dollars to block ah hole. Well, boy, what dat tell Biky is whoever businessmen dat paying her new salary, none ah dem name Juffali. Or dere name is Juffali, maybe her check still in de mail.
Alkalado: I eh know, eh. To each his own an’ all dat. But dat Alkaline ting and de way de man singing like Mickey Mouse wid his nuts in a trap, dat just not my speed. On de udder hand I hear all de youths talkin’ about de dancehall star is de bomb. Well at de Pigeon Island show last Sunday tings really did explode. First it was a fella who pelt Alkaline him wid a bottle in mid-performance. Next ting you know is bottle raining from de stage and back. Two women eh see nothin’ better to do dan get into a fight over de Jamaica. Eh ben bon!
In-dee-pen-dent: Some people just cyar help it. Like dat little hottie chick dat claim she’s ah youth advocate but dere she is openly having a fling wid a married public official who eh know when to keep his hands in his pocket and outta de Independence pie. Boy ah tell you, de woman stick like glue to de man, all de while claiming she delivering youth service. I tell you some people got no shame at all. Takin’ selfies every three seconds, as if she planning to get off on dem when de real business done.
A rose by any other name: Ah hear a certain promotion company dat start wid ah O in its name soon gon have to get annuder letter after one ah de members get arrested for fraud. De man was all over de place like he was some kinda Saudi billionaire, playing big boy and ting, but when trouble hit him he had to hit on his folks in Canada. Boy, all along Biky did smell something about dat guy dat remind him of rat. You check it?
Ah go leave it dere for now. All you cool yourselves, eh. It’s Lent. Check out de scoops again next week right here. In de meantime write me at email@example.com