SPILLING DA BEANS
Well, hello there all you 2Niters. Welcome to another run around de jungle where you do what you have to do to survive and de hell wid correctness, political and otherwise. To be honest, all dat really matter to Biky B is getting you your regular dose of beans to get you through another week.
At de rate tings going it look like is not Chiney invasion we have to worry about so much as de Jamaican baby boom. You can take Biky word for it; over de years is nuff Jamaican dancehall artiste coming here and making pickney with Looshan girls and den disappearing after dere performances. De latest ah hear about is one involving de self-proclaimed unruly boss dat sow some serious oats on his last visit. Now de baby mama here trying her best to contact de seed dropper for child support, preferably in U.S.—not Jamaican dollars. Maybe she should leak her story to de guy dat ready to help for de asking, no strings attached!
Just when Biky B think a certain local female singer would be hitting de high notes on de Billboard charts, it seem like she rather be riding high on de White Horse instead. De way Biky get it from de grapevine, if de young woman eh get her act together soon she could find herself in a cardboard box on de street wid a bunch of other foreign junkies. Ah hear some kind souls trying to give her a hand but when your head as mess up as hers it’s hard to decide who’s a Good Samaritan and who playin’ good just to get a chance to be bad. Biky wishin’ her well, doh.
Talking about Good Samaritans: was Springs praying on DBS for Ti Chas and his apostles de other evening or was he praying his last Taiwanese supper was not really his last Taiwanese supper? Dese days people praying from all three corners of dere mouth, you know. Just take a peep at Facebook. One minute dem songbirds chirping from a yellow songbook and de next is from ah red book and sometimes even ah orange one. It so bad dese days Biky cyar tell CAPS from SLAPS, let alone CRAP from SAPS!
Before ah go ah have to mention dis letter I receive about a hot model chick dat sleep with a married man de other night. Next ting she wake up wid a serious STD. But what really get her goat is how de man take de news as if is nothing to lose sleep over. Well next ting you know de young hottie gone to wifey and let her know her husband is a carrier. But hottie get another surprise when she discover wifey put her on social media. Ah can assure you dat eh no fake news. Some of de hottie’s model friends already gone cold on her, although some of dem cryin’ fake tears in her presence. People ah go leave tings here fo now. Have all you self a great weekend, and remember doh be nobody’s fool just because this is April Fool weekend.Okay? See ya’ll on de flipside and as always throw some beans my way at firstname.lastname@example.org