BE­WARE: When The Jade Prays, God lis­tens!

The Star (St. Lucia) - - LOCAL -

The word “trough,” be­lieve it or not, car­ries sev­eral mean­ings, de­pend­ing on whether used in the con­text of oceanog­ra­phy, eco­nomics, medicine, ge­ol­ogy and so on.

Once upon a time, when the word pro­ceeded from the am­pli­fied mouth of Ms Dawn French, Saint Lu­cians imag­ined it meant rain was on the way but not in such amounts as to be prob­lem­atic.

The T-word then had the power to ren­der abruptly deaf those who heard it. I need add that on at least one oc­ca­sion when the pop­u­la­tion, con­ceiv­ably for its own best in­ter­est, claimed it had not heard from Ms French about a par­tic­u­lar “elon­gated re­gion of rel­a­tively low at­mo­spheric pres­sure as­so­ci­ated with a front,” at least three paid the supreme price.

Which might ex­plain why, by the time the sun set on the par­tic­u­lar dis­as­ter, Dawn had been re­lo­cated close enough to the prime min­is­ter’s of­fice to per­mit their ol­fac­tory re­cep­tors full ac­cess to each other’s body per­fumes—while she keeps a keen eye on mat­ters troughre­lated.

Re­mark­ably, the prime min­is­ter’s os­ten­si­ble prime lady ap­peared to have lit­tle use for the trough word in her on-theminute feuil­letons to the na­tion last Satur­day, the first of which an­nounced the post­pone­ment of the sec­ond round of a muchan­tic­i­pated de­bate—“due to the in­clement weather.”

Par­tic­i­pants in the Satur­day morn­ing event were ex­pected to en­gage the fol­low­ing propo­si­tion: ”The Western world has moved to embrace the LGBT com­mu­nity; the church should do the same by pro­vid­ing equal op­por­tu­ni­ties and ac­cess to all ac­tiv­i­ties.”

The Jade’s fol­lowup re­as­sur­ing mes­sage to Saint Lu­cians was that our gov­ern­ment “con­tin­ues to mon­i­tor weather con­di­tions.”

Like the ef­fi­cient prime min­is­ter’s press sec­re­tary we all know her to be, The Jade sup­plied im­pres­sive de­tails of the mon­i­tor­ing process. For in­stance: “The min­istry of in­fra­struc­ture re­sponse teams have been mo­bi­lized and are at­tend­ing to some ar­eas as we speak.

“Up­dates con­tinue to poor in from . . .” Hey, we know The Jade knows the proper spell­ing; but you gotta ad­mit what fol­lowed “poor” made the typo es­pe­cially in­ter­est­ing:

“Up­dates con­tinue to poor in from com­mu­ni­ties across the is­land . . . The di­ver­sion near the ALBA Bridge in Grande Riv­iere, Den­nery, is un­der wa­ter and has brought traf­fic to a halt. [Pre­sum­ably, she re­ferred only to ve­hic­u­lar traf­fic, not the kind in­volv­ing mo­tor­ized ca­noes!]

“There is no de­bris in that area and the ad­vice from the tech­ni­cians is that we wait till the wa­ter sub­sides . . . An elec­tric­ity pole has halted traf­fic through Barre d’Lisle, LUCELEC on the scene. There is also a team from the Min­istry of In­fra­struc­ture at­tend­ing to a tree . . . The min­istry has ad­vised that a re­sponse team has been de­ployed to deal with the de­bris at Choc . . .”

On top of her other tal­ents too nu­mer­ous to men­tion, it turns out the lady is also ubiq­ui­tous. I, for one, couldn’t help won­der­ing how The Jade found the time to stay in touch with our var­i­ous dis­as­ters, not to say our dis­as­ter-re­sponse crews, is­land­wide. (Where were the ge­niuses of the leg­endary Vi­sion Com­mis­sion? For cry­ing out loud, where was Mr. Global Warm­ing?)

In any case I can val­i­date The Jade’s re­ports on the de­bris-clear­ing ac­tiv­i­ties at the over-sen­si­tive Choc Bridge. I ac­tu­ally took pic­tures as Philip J. Pierre’s brave and coura­geous and award­de­serv­ing crews went about the dan­ger­ous business of keep­ing the na­tion safe from harm; from drown­ing last Satur­day, at any rate.

The Jade even passed on in­for­ma­tion about the flooded

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Saint Lucia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.