Why Can’t a Man be More like a Woman?

The Star (St. Lucia) - - LOCAL - By

IFaye-Chantelle Mon­de­sir t was Sur­geo Bell who ob­served: “Never cheat on some­one who is good to you, be­cause karma is a bitch!” Nev­er­the­less, we live in a cul­ture where be­ing cheated on by her men may well be a woman’s great­est worry.

Ac­cord­ing to the dat­ing site EHar­mony, no sin­gle rea­son ex­ists why cheat­ing oc­curs. Clin­i­cal re­ports in­di­cate it boils down to ba­sic mo­ti­va­tors: the need for at­ten­tion; de­sire for stim­u­la­tion when an in­di­vid­ual feels empty, bored or self-ab­sorbed; and im­pul­sive per­son­al­ity style. Lo­cally, there is an eco­nomic el­e­ment - which amounts to pros­ti­tu­tion while in a re­la­tion­ship.

No sur­prise that the STAR’s pub­lisher and talk show host Rick Wayne has his own views on the sub­ject - and didn’t mind shar­ing them, al­beit with a wicked gleam in his eye: “I be­lieve this, the word it­self, ‘cheat’, is pri­mar­ily as­so­ci­ated with gam­bling; games of chance; ex­ams. So should re­la­tion­ships be equated with games of chance, at which one wins or loses based on luck? Can you ap­ply con­di­tions to a mar­riage as you might with ex­ams? Are we go­ing to equate hor­monal ac­tiv­i­ties with sit­ting ex­ams? What are the rules gov­ern­ing re­la­tion­ships? Are they word of mouth or are they writ­ten some­where in stone?”

“Tak­ing vows that have ev­ery­thing to do with li­bido,” he went on, “is ob­vi­ously stupid. Who can con­trol for­ever the strong­est hu­man urge, on which de­pends pro­cre­ation?”

Wayne con­tin­ued, “We in­vent in­sti­tu­tions such as mar­riage, take vows to love one man or one woman for life, know­ing full well we won’t . . . can’t keep them. The univer­sal di­vorce fig­ures are proof of that.”

Just when I thought he was through, he started again. “Show me a man who has never cheated, who has never lusted af­ter a woman not his own, and I’ll show you a liar.

“Now women, who I be­lieve are su­pe­rior in ev­ery way, seem able to re­sist the temp­ta­tion to stray. Maybe be­cause they have a kind of nest­ing in­stinct that na­ture de­nied males.”

He of­fered a sur­prise: “Of course, women do cheat, some­times cheat, but usu­ally they’ve been driven by men to do so!”

The fi­nal un­ex­pected twist: “Comes a time, per­haps dic­tated iron­i­cally by Mother Na­ture, when men can’t be both­ered to cheat; when it’s not worth the has­sle, the cover-ups, the pre­tence, the money . . .”

He paused, smiled, be­fore con­tin­u­ing: “Of course, by the time a man ar­rives at that stage in his life, he’s this close to turn­ing his back on ev­ery­thing, for­ever!”

I should’ve known bet­ter than to ask Rick Wayne, of all peo­ple, a se­ri­ous ques­tion, the an­swer to which no one seems to know for cer­tain: Why do men cheat?

Is there a man alive who has never cheated or even con­sid­ered it?

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