Step into my parlour said the spider to Matthew!
Whether or not we admit it, we all feel safer knowing there is someone looking out for us in times of bad weather. And I’m not talking about the man upstairs who, I am told, is responsible for all things great and small and also, presumably, all things good and bad.
So it was no big surprise when the sceptics, whom I like to refer to as “The Haters” (to my publisher’s consternation!), were up in arms because Gulliver was on one of his travels when TS Matthew came a-calling. Though I am not sure what difference he’d have made if he were ensconced here in his mansion, wherever it is. Even previous holders of his office, who they say were able to walk on water, had not been able to stop floods at Bexon and elsewhere in their time. Then again, stranger things have happened here. Anyway, those of us whom Matthew only made wet and TV-less needed something to talk about in the dark. So we talked about you know who and speculated about which storm-free country he was in while the rest of us got licked and lashed by Matthew.
Turns out there was no need to worry anyway, thanks to Mr. Arachnid. (Aren’t women supposed to be scared to death of the little buggers with their tendency to draw the unsuspecting into their webs for all kinds of devious reasons?) His first appearance created anything but fear. Clad in his usual Gros Islet button up with two buttons down shirt, his regular calm demeanor in place, the curiously reassuring arachnid addressed the nation on the matter of the impending visit. Of Matthew, not Harry. Might this be the reason Matthew saved his worst lashes for zones outside Helen?
The Arachnid’s bravery didn’t end here. Right after the storm he took a flight! Calm down, I’m not saying what you think I’m saying. By reliable account he took the opportunity to get a first-hand aerial assessment of what Matthew left in his wake, particularly in the island’s agricultural areas. Not bad for someone who was only acting chief when Matthew landed here. No doubt the boss will pat himself on the back for choosing the right man to substitute for him in his absence. Did he overshadow the boss? Hey, the boss has yet to weather his first storm, right? Meanwhile give him the credit he deserves. I mean, he coulda chosen a certain always hungry minister to hold the fort while he was away. And we all know how the particular minister does get on when hunger strikes and there’s no Snickers around.
Well, adios until next time. . .
If you thought spiders could fly, now you know better!