Step into my par­lour said the spi­der to Matthew!

The Star (St. Lucia) - - LOCAL -

Whether or not we ad­mit it, we all feel safer know­ing there is some­one look­ing out for us in times of bad weather. And I’m not talk­ing about the man up­stairs who, I am told, is re­spon­si­ble for all things great and small and also, pre­sum­ably, all things good and bad.

So it was no big sur­prise when the scep­tics, whom I like to re­fer to as “The Haters” (to my pub­lisher’s con­ster­na­tion!), were up in arms be­cause Gul­liver was on one of his trav­els when TS Matthew came a-call­ing. Though I am not sure what dif­fer­ence he’d have made if he were en­sconced here in his man­sion, wher­ever it is. Even pre­vi­ous hold­ers of his of­fice, who they say were able to walk on water, had not been able to stop floods at Bexon and elsewhere in their time. Then again, stranger things have hap­pened here. Any­way, those of us whom Matthew only made wet and TV-less needed some­thing to talk about in the dark. So we talked about you know who and spec­u­lated about which storm-free coun­try he was in while the rest of us got licked and lashed by Matthew.

Turns out there was no need to worry any­way, thanks to Mr. Arach­nid. (Aren’t women sup­posed to be scared to death of the lit­tle bug­gers with their ten­dency to draw the un­sus­pect­ing into their webs for all kinds of de­vi­ous rea­sons?) His first ap­pear­ance cre­ated any­thing but fear. Clad in his usual Gros Islet button up with two but­tons down shirt, his reg­u­lar calm de­meanor in place, the cu­ri­ously re­as­sur­ing arach­nid ad­dressed the na­tion on the mat­ter of the im­pend­ing visit. Of Matthew, not Harry. Might this be the rea­son Matthew saved his worst lashes for zones out­side He­len?

The Arach­nid’s brav­ery didn’t end here. Right af­ter the storm he took a flight! Calm down, I’m not say­ing what you think I’m say­ing. By re­li­able ac­count he took the op­por­tu­nity to get a first-hand ae­rial as­sess­ment of what Matthew left in his wake, par­tic­u­larly in the is­land’s agri­cul­tural ar­eas. Not bad for some­one who was only act­ing chief when Matthew landed here. No doubt the boss will pat him­self on the back for choos­ing the right man to sub­sti­tute for him in his ab­sence. Did he over­shadow the boss? Hey, the boss has yet to weather his first storm, right? Mean­while give him the credit he de­serves. I mean, he coulda cho­sen a cer­tain al­ways hun­gry min­is­ter to hold the fort while he was away. And we all know how the par­tic­u­lar min­is­ter does get on when hunger strikes and there’s no Snick­ers around.

Well, adios un­til next time. . .

If you thought spi­ders could fly, now you know bet­ter!

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Saint Lucia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.