ALL WE NEED IS LOVE

A col­umn about love, re­la­tion­ships, dat­ing and ev­ery­thing in be­tween by guest writer Milly Moses.

The Star (St. Lucia) - - THE LIGHT SIDE -

To Prince Charm­ing, and be­yond

If you’re like me, you’re prob­a­bly at the point in your life when “be­ing in love” or find­ing “the one” seems more fleet­ing and far­fetched by the hour. Love to me al­ways seemed a mag­i­cal and eu­phoric feel­ing con­nected to meet­ing that spe­cial per­son. I re­call hav­ing that feel­ing a few years ago and I can tell you, I felt like I could’ve jumped over the moon. You know that feel­ing you get when you’re un­der wa­ter and fi­nally come up for a breath of fresh air - your lungs ex­pand as the oxy­gen fills them to ca­pac­ity - I’d never ex­pe­ri­enced any­thing close to that, so when I thought I’d found it, I held onto it for dear life. How­ever, in my case it wasn’t so much that I fell in love but more that I walked into love. He was lit­er­ally the man of my dreams – more than a pretty face or great body, I was in love with him to the very core. Our dates were noth­ing short of mag­i­cal: he made me feel on ev­ery oc­ca­sion like a princess from a Dis­ney movie.

Nat­u­rally, af­ter four years of be­ing to­gether, when he pre­sented me with a ring I said, “Yes,” and I knew that this was it, I was fi­nally get­ting to live out my dreams. Need­less to say, that proverb ‘noth­ing is ever quite as it seems’ was soon to be man­i­fested. My Prince Charm­ing turned out to be any­thing but. Shortly af­ter grant­ing me the joy of ex­pe­ri­enc­ing a life that was noth­ing short of a fairy­tale, I was forced to watch it dis­ap­pear. Need­less to say, there was quite a lot of cry­ing af­ter that. Yet, some part of me still didn’t want to give up on that hope of find­ing true love.

When it comes to glit­ter­ing fic­tional love, I know ev­ery movie, ev­ery princess and ev­ery love story and, as a lit­tle girl, I could only hope one day to have some­one love me in that un­con­di­tional, for­ever kind of way. But I’ve fi­nally come to the re­al­iza­tion that real love is some­thing else en­tirely. While the feel­ing once you find it is com­pa­ra­ble to none, I know it can also leave you curled up in the cor­ner of a room cry­ing at nights. When the world is sleep­ing, in my ex­pe­ri­ence, that is when love of­ten chooses to il­lus­trate just how pow­er­ful and painful it can be.

For me, love has most of all been life-chang­ing. I know now that when you fall in love it doesn’t end there; that fall­ing in love is re­ally the easy part. I can see clearly now that love means fac­ing ob­sta­cles, yet choos­ing to love that per­son even when you don’t like them. Love means ac­cept­ing the changes, and grow­ing in loy­alty and trust. I can’t imag­ine any re­la­tion­ship sur­viv­ing without those ne­ces­si­ties.

In my past re­la­tion­ship, I know that it must have taken a spe­cial kind of un­con­di­tional love to look past flaws and wrong­do­ings that must have been there all along, con­vinc­ing my­self all the while that we were on solid ground!

I am now in a bet­ter place where I am able to un­der­stand that peo­ple fall in love for dif­fer­ent rea­sons rang­ing from the ma­te­ri­al­is­tic to the con­ve­nient. And even when there is no love, that doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily take mar­riage out of the equa­tion in some cul­tures, as that too can be ar­ranged. Usu­ally it is said that love is some­thing that grows over time, even when start­ing from a place of in­dif­fer­ence, or even re­pul­sion, which is some­thing I’m not sure I agree with.

With all of that said, I know that when seek­ing love in its truest form, it is im­por­tant to have faith, and once you find the right per­son, en­sure you’re build­ing on a solid foun­da­tion of trust (and some of us are re­ally great at pre­tend­ing there is none!). If you’re one of the lucky ones to find the kind of love that gives you peace, then con­sider your­self for­tu­nate.

Some­times love can feel like a fairy­tale. Other times, not so much! Hold onto it, cher­ish it and let love have its way with you. If you’re more like me, hold onto the hope that love will find you some­day; I’m hop­ing its sooner rather than later be­cause un­til then I’m stuck be­ing a hope­less ro­man­tic try­ing to keep my head above wa­ter in a make-out and hook-up era!

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