ALL WE NEED IS LOVE
A column about love, relationships, dating and everything in between by guest writer Milly Moses.
To Prince Charming, and beyond
If you’re like me, you’re probably at the point in your life when “being in love” or finding “the one” seems more fleeting and farfetched by the hour. Love to me always seemed a magical and euphoric feeling connected to meeting that special person. I recall having that feeling a few years ago and I can tell you, I felt like I could’ve jumped over the moon. You know that feeling you get when you’re under water and finally come up for a breath of fresh air - your lungs expand as the oxygen fills them to capacity - I’d never experienced anything close to that, so when I thought I’d found it, I held onto it for dear life. However, in my case it wasn’t so much that I fell in love but more that I walked into love. He was literally the man of my dreams – more than a pretty face or great body, I was in love with him to the very core. Our dates were nothing short of magical: he made me feel on every occasion like a princess from a Disney movie.
Naturally, after four years of being together, when he presented me with a ring I said, “Yes,” and I knew that this was it, I was finally getting to live out my dreams. Needless to say, that proverb ‘nothing is ever quite as it seems’ was soon to be manifested. My Prince Charming turned out to be anything but. Shortly after granting me the joy of experiencing a life that was nothing short of a fairytale, I was forced to watch it disappear. Needless to say, there was quite a lot of crying after that. Yet, some part of me still didn’t want to give up on that hope of finding true love.
When it comes to glittering fictional love, I know every movie, every princess and every love story and, as a little girl, I could only hope one day to have someone love me in that unconditional, forever kind of way. But I’ve finally come to the realization that real love is something else entirely. While the feeling once you find it is comparable to none, I know it can also leave you curled up in the corner of a room crying at nights. When the world is sleeping, in my experience, that is when love often chooses to illustrate just how powerful and painful it can be.
For me, love has most of all been life-changing. I know now that when you fall in love it doesn’t end there; that falling in love is really the easy part. I can see clearly now that love means facing obstacles, yet choosing to love that person even when you don’t like them. Love means accepting the changes, and growing in loyalty and trust. I can’t imagine any relationship surviving without those necessities.
In my past relationship, I know that it must have taken a special kind of unconditional love to look past flaws and wrongdoings that must have been there all along, convincing myself all the while that we were on solid ground!
I am now in a better place where I am able to understand that people fall in love for different reasons ranging from the materialistic to the convenient. And even when there is no love, that doesn’t necessarily take marriage out of the equation in some cultures, as that too can be arranged. Usually it is said that love is something that grows over time, even when starting from a place of indifference, or even repulsion, which is something I’m not sure I agree with.
With all of that said, I know that when seeking love in its truest form, it is important to have faith, and once you find the right person, ensure you’re building on a solid foundation of trust (and some of us are really great at pretending there is none!). If you’re one of the lucky ones to find the kind of love that gives you peace, then consider yourself fortunate.
Sometimes love can feel like a fairytale. Other times, not so much! Hold onto it, cherish it and let love have its way with you. If you’re more like me, hold onto the hope that love will find you someday; I’m hoping its sooner rather than later because until then I’m stuck being a hopeless romantic trying to keep my head above water in a make-out and hook-up era!