Chivalry is dead. Meanwhile, scrubs are thriving!
A column about love, relationships, dating and everything in between
Sugar babies of the female variety are far from dead, but men have in recent times become worthy competitors. So it seems these days with the complaints I see daily on social media from women who’ve experienced the all but sudden switching of the tides. Blame songs like ‘Independent Women’, ‘No Scrubs’, or anything for that matter screaming womanpower, and perhaps there you will find reasons for the shift in dominance, and prevalence of dependency, this time on the part of our men.
In as much as the accusations of being gold diggers usually fall upon women, by popular opinion the number of men sponging off women has skyrocketed. Whether it be finding a partner who will fund their housing expenses by way of the culprits moving in and getting cosy with previously lonely women, or flat out having multiple women for various financial purposes, lately, the treasure seekers themselves have serious cojones.
Of course, who really expected that the concept would apply only to women? Especially in this age where in an increasing number of cases women are out-earning men. What makes the current situation worth talking about? The fact that this is happening at a time when the number of single women around the world seems to have doubled. The reality is concerning, to say the least.
One might argue that these women know what they’re getting into, but from what I’ve discovered, that isn’t always the case. A woman with similar motivations will target the man of her choice that she’s certain will be able to support her lavish life style.
From where I’m standing, most men who mooch off women are less bent on honesty and mutual understanding. In fact, the situations I’ve been hearing about seem to be based on flat-out lies to the woman: the belief that she’s his one and only, that providing for this man financially equates to loyalty, and, even further, the deception of being in a genuine relationship with this person.
A Facebook friend posted two questions this week that shed light on the situation: “Why do women pay for men to stay with them?” and secondly, “Why do some men want women to feed them?” She went further: “I’m asking these questions because it’s hard for me to feed a man, especially if I just met you, or we are getting to know each other.”
The responses were swift: “To be honest, some women just want people to see they have a man so they give him money,” one woman offered. Another: “They think if they pay his way he’s going to be with them only. Real men don’t expect these things from the ones they love. That’s grown up kids.”
“They spend their money on cars and drinks and expect a woman to feed them and put gas,” another woman chimed in. “I’m talking from experience, now that my eyes are open. A lot of men in Saint Lucia are guilty.”
I found no reason to source similar comments from men for purposes of comparison, as that stereotype has existed for years!
From all accounts, the culprits are often men most would not expect. My Facebook friend had her own analogy: “Sometimes it’s the women who are the problem. They’re needy, and encourage that kind of behaviour. Some of them can’t even afford it, but spend their last dollar on men. Some of these men want a million women but have nothing to offer. We really need to look at the bigger picture.”
Of all the comments, this one spoke volumes: “Man shortage!”
Perhaps therein lies the truth!
Let’s have that again, TLC. We didn’t quite hear you the first time . . .