Chivalry is dead. Mean­while, scrubs are thriv­ing!

A col­umn about love, re­la­tion­ships, dat­ing and ev­ery­thing in be­tween

The Star (St. Lucia) - - THE LIGHT SIDE - by Sadie Love

Sugar ba­bies of the fe­male va­ri­ety are far from dead, but men have in re­cent times be­come wor­thy com­peti­tors. So it seems these days with the com­plaints I see daily on so­cial me­dia from women who’ve ex­pe­ri­enced the all but sud­den switch­ing of the tides. Blame songs like ‘In­de­pen­dent Women’, ‘No Scrubs’, or any­thing for that mat­ter scream­ing wom­an­power, and per­haps there you will find rea­sons for the shift in dom­i­nance, and preva­lence of de­pen­dency, this time on the part of our men.

In as much as the ac­cu­sa­tions of be­ing gold dig­gers usu­ally fall upon women, by pop­u­lar opin­ion the num­ber of men spong­ing off women has sky­rock­eted. Whether it be find­ing a part­ner who will fund their hous­ing ex­penses by way of the cul­prits mov­ing in and get­ting cosy with pre­vi­ously lonely women, or flat out hav­ing mul­ti­ple women for var­i­ous fi­nan­cial pur­poses, lately, the trea­sure seek­ers them­selves have se­ri­ous co­jones.

Of course, who re­ally ex­pected that the con­cept would ap­ply only to women? Es­pe­cially in this age where in an in­creas­ing num­ber of cases women are out-earn­ing men. What makes the cur­rent sit­u­a­tion worth talk­ing about? The fact that this is hap­pen­ing at a time when the num­ber of sin­gle women around the world seems to have dou­bled. The re­al­ity is con­cern­ing, to say the least.

One might ar­gue that these women know what they’re get­ting into, but from what I’ve dis­cov­ered, that isn’t al­ways the case. A woman with sim­i­lar mo­ti­va­tions will tar­get the man of her choice that she’s cer­tain will be able to sup­port her lav­ish life style.

From where I’m stand­ing, most men who mooch off women are less bent on hon­esty and mu­tual un­der­stand­ing. In fact, the sit­u­a­tions I’ve been hear­ing about seem to be based on flat-out lies to the woman: the be­lief that she’s his one and only, that pro­vid­ing for this man fi­nan­cially equates to loy­alty, and, even fur­ther, the de­cep­tion of be­ing in a gen­uine re­la­tion­ship with this per­son.

A Face­book friend posted two ques­tions this week that shed light on the sit­u­a­tion: “Why do women pay for men to stay with them?” and se­condly, “Why do some men want women to feed them?” She went fur­ther: “I’m ask­ing these ques­tions be­cause it’s hard for me to feed a man, es­pe­cially if I just met you, or we are get­ting to know each other.”

The re­sponses were swift: “To be hon­est, some women just want peo­ple to see they have a man so they give him money,” one woman of­fered. An­other: “They think if they pay his way he’s go­ing to be with them only. Real men don’t ex­pect these things from the ones they love. That’s grown up kids.”

“They spend their money on cars and drinks and ex­pect a woman to feed them and put gas,” an­other woman chimed in. “I’m talk­ing from ex­pe­ri­ence, now that my eyes are open. A lot of men in Saint Lu­cia are guilty.”

I found no rea­son to source sim­i­lar com­ments from men for pur­poses of com­par­i­son, as that stereo­type has ex­isted for years!

From all ac­counts, the cul­prits are of­ten men most would not ex­pect. My Face­book friend had her own anal­ogy: “Some­times it’s the women who are the prob­lem. They’re needy, and en­cour­age that kind of be­hav­iour. Some of them can’t even af­ford it, but spend their last dol­lar on men. Some of these men want a mil­lion women but have noth­ing to of­fer. We re­ally need to look at the big­ger pic­ture.”

Of all the com­ments, this one spoke vol­umes: “Man short­age!”

Per­haps therein lies the truth!

Let’s have that again, TLC. We didn’t quite hear you the first time . . .

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Saint Lucia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.