Ask the Men

CLEO (Singapore) - - CONTENTS -

“There’s one cru­cial thing you should keep in mind when assess­ing if he likes you: what­ever hap­pened on the first date is com­pletely ir­rel­e­vant. Hear me out: first dates are about leav­ing an im­pres­sion. Every joke you crack will be laughed at; every smile, re­turned. If you want a proper in­di­ca­tor of his in­ter­est in you, I’d sug­gest look­ing no fur­ther than com­par­ing the com­mu­ni­ca­tion be­tween the two of you pre-date and post-date. Is he still the sweet­heart you’ve been telling all your friends about? Does he still ask you about your day at work? Con­versely, do you still hear about his an­noy­ing col­league and his brother’s lat­est shenani­gans? It’s no se­cret that men don’t talk about their lives as much as you’d like them to, so if he’s telling you even less than usual, chances are, either he doesn’t value your opin­ion any­more or he’s just not that into you. If it feels like he’s pulling away, he is. Let him go.

Fi­nally, the most ob­vi­ous sign of him be­ing in­ter­ested in you would be the ease the both of you set a sec­ond date. Re­mem­ber, there’s no such thing as ‘too busy’ if he’s into you. Any guy will at­test to the fact that if he re­ally wants to see a girl, he’ll make it hap­pen come hell or high wa­ter. Also, if his date ideas al­ways in­volve al­co­hol, the so­cial – ahem – lu­bri­cant, there’s a very real pos­si­bil­ity he’s not that into you, and that he just wants to get into you. If you know what I mean.”

“I mean, we try our best not to hurt your feel­ings, so we find it hard to just tell you it’s not work­ing out.

One easy way to tell? Blue ticks. If you’re con­stantly get­ting blue ticked on What­sApp with­out get­ting any replies from him, chances are, you’re not his pri­or­ity.

Usu­ally, it’s pretty easy to tell if there’s any con­nec­tion or not within the first two dates. If he starts gulp­ing down drinks within a short pe­riod of time, checks his watch for the time, and smiles with­out teeth – well, you can bet he’s just not that into you.”

“Most guys who are in­ter­ested in a girl usu­ally wouldn’t take that long to re­ply, un­less he’s try­ing not to be seen as too avail­able, which some­times has the un­in­ten­tional ef­fect of scar­ing a girl off. Of course, if he’s con­stantly on­line on What­sApp and giv­ing you blue ticks with­out re­ply­ing, he’s prob­a­bly not in­ter­ested in main­tain­ing the con­ver­sa­tion. In Sin­ga­pore’s con­text, how­ever, it’s pos­si­ble the MRT is down and he’s re­port­ing the fault on What­sApp.

If you ask a guy out and he says he’s busy with work with­out sug­gest­ing an al­ter­na­tive day, yeah, he’s busy work­ing – work­ing an­other girl. This is es­sen­tially the same as when a per­son says “let’s catch up soon”. What if that hap­pens to you? One word: run.”

Kis­han.J, 24

Justin Van­der­straaten, 25

Marc Lim, 29

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