Men­tal notes

CLEO (Singapore) - - EDITOR'S NOTE - Claire Starkey Editor-in-Chief

The thing about mag­a­zines is that once you've sent it to print, it's out there in the pub­lic (and, by proxy, so are you), and there’s noth­ing you can do about it. And when I first be­came an Editor, that had a sur­pris­ing ef­fect on me.

For a good part of my first year in that job, I would wake up between 3 and 4am feel­ing anx­ious af. I would be in­cred­i­bly pan­icked about what I'd sent out – the use of a cer­tain im­age or phrase now seemed over­whelm­ingly im­por­tant, and was ob­vi­ously the wrong one. Some­times, I got so pan­icked I truly thought I'd be fired over a bad celebrity im­age or some­thing.

It sounds pretty silly now as I type this, but hon­estly, at the time, my stom­ach felt like there were snakes writhing around in it and you're just kind of over­come by this wave of fear.

Of course, I didn’t talk about it with any­one – I didn’t want peo­ple to think I couldn’t han­dle the job.

Over the last few years though, the more I talk to my friends, who are all amaz­ing and suc­cess­ful (like, to the point that they've been fea­tured on the cover of their univer­sity alumni mag­a­zine), the more I re­alise that most peo­ple have felt this way at some point or an­other. Mostly, they’ve suf­fered alone, for rea­sons sim­i­lar to mine. You guys, we need to start hav­ing these con­ver­sa­tions.

Feel­ing anx­ious, find­ing your­self un­able to feel hope or hap­pi­ness, or suf­fer­ing from OCD in no way means you're weak or a lesser per­son. It's not a reflection of your per­for­mance or your per­son­al­ity. But it's a sign that maybe some sup­port could help. Please turn to p77 to find your sup­port, or how to be that sup­port for some­one else.

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