You’re at the end of your tether, and your boss drops an­other project on you. It’s the nal straw. Next thing you know, you’ve own into a rage. What do you do next? Davelle Lee tells you how to sal­vage the sit­u­a­tion with min­i­mal dam­age.

Herworld (Singapore) - - NEWS -

We tell you how to sal­vage the sit­u­a­tion with min­i­mal dam­age.

Give your­self a time-out

Re­move your­self from the scene of the crime, pronto. You aren’t go­ing to make a smooth re­cov­ery in front of all your co-work­ers.

“If pos­si­ble, put some phys­i­cal dis­tance be­tween your­self and the sit­u­a­tion,” says Lai Han Sam, life coach at Life­work Global. Ex­cuse your­self po­litely, resched­ule im­por­tant meet­ings and have some­body cover for you so you can pro­tect your pro­fes­sional in­tegrity.

Then, nd a quiet place so you can bawl your eyes out or call a friend to rant. Once that’s out of your sys­tem, close your eyes and take 10 deep, slow breaths. Write down ex­actly what hap­pened, how you’re feel­ing, and how your col­leagues re­acted. Don’t type, be­cause writ­ing forces you to slow down and process your thoughts, says Han Sam. “It’s hard to be ag­i­tated when you have to con­cen­trate on putting your words on pa­per.”

When you’re done, read what you’ve writ­ten. This helps you take a step back, see ev­ery­thing from a third-per­son per­spec­tive, and help calm you down. Next, gure out what really caused you to lose your cool. Think about the week or month that you’ve had – has any­thing changed to throw you off bal­ance? Once you x that, you’re less likely to ex­pe­ri­ence a re­peat melt­down.

Own your mis­take

You’re hu­man. It’s okay to get worked up. “An emo­tion is a spon­ta­neous re­ac­tion,” ex­plains Han Sam. That’s why a surge of anger or stress can cause you to lose con­trol of your be­hav­iour.

Still, when a melt­down hap­pens, it could give your boss rea­son to think that you’re not as re­li­able as they thought. So x the sit­u­a­tion, stat. Don’t wait for your su­per­vi­sor to bring it up. Of­fer a sin­cere apol­ogy, face-to-face – no e-mails or text mes­sages al­lowed. Han Sam adds: “You don’t have to ex­plain your­self, par­tic­u­larly if the rea­son for your out­burst was deeply per­sonal, un­less the per­son is able to help you re­solve the prob­lem.”

Work out an ac­tion plan

Re­pair the dam­age, es­pe­cially if you’ve mucked up a pre­sen­ta­tion or missed a dead­line. “Ask for a doover, and this time, do an even bet­ter job. It will be hard work, but it will help to re­store your col­leagues’ and clients’ faith in you,” says Han Sam.

Once you’ve identied the cause of the melt­down, make sure you don’t lose the plot at work again. Talk things over with friends, or pick up a hobby to re­lieve stress. Con­sider telling your team about what you’re deal­ing with, so that they won’t be blind­sided by any fu­ture out­bursts.

Stop talk­ing to me. I need space to pull my­self to­gether.

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