Herworld (Singapore) - - CONTENTS -

Got a re­la­tion­ship prob­lem? Our man about town, Ja­son God­frey, is here to help.

My boyfriend doesn’t like me In­sta­gram­ming all the details about our re­la­tion­ship. I don’t get why it both­ers him so much. I en­joy shar­ing and immortalising my favourite mem­o­ries, like our first an­niver­sary din­ner and trips over­seas. Why is he act­ing out, and how do I get him to see things my way?

If a tree falls in a for­est but no one is there to post to its In­stas­tory, does it make a noise? The an­swer is: no, it doesn’t. So­cial me­dia is great, ex­cept when it’s tak­ing your per­sonal data and sell­ing it to other peo­ple. But I di­gress. The point is, some peo­ple might not be as happy about ce­ment­ing their re­al­life mo­ments on the In­ter­net as you are. Maybe the an­swer here is a com­pro­mise. Let him know you’re post­ing all this stuff be­cause you’re proud to call him yours, but try to have some mo­ments that are just for the two of you. In your re­la­tion­ship, it’s the two of you that re­ally mat­ter.

My boyfriend and I have been to­gether a year. Things are go­ing well, but I feel we don’t have sex­ual chem­istry. We’ve talked about it, but things haven’t im­proved. What can I do to make things bet­ter? I don’t want to lose our re­la­tion­ship over this.

You need to fig­ure out what the is­sue is. A year isn’t that long – maybe you’re still a lit­tle shy with each other in the sack? Maybe you’re still feel­ing each other out to see what you are into? Try throw­ing some props into the mix to break you out of your rou­tine and jump-start the sex­ual chem­istry. It’s worth a shot, be­cause (I hate to be the one to break it to you) if you can’t find any chem­istry in the bed­room, the re­la­tion­ship’s prob­a­bly not go­ing to last much longer.

My boyfriend wants to go on a div­ing hol­i­day with a close female friend. They’ve been friends for years and she’s mar­ried. It doesn’t make sense for me to go as I don’t dive, but I feel un­com­fort­able about it, and I don’t want to come off as pos­ses­sive and jeal­ous. Am I over­re­act­ing? Is this some­thing I should talk to him about?

Oh, you should def­i­nitely say some­thing. And there’s noth­ing wrong with sug­gest­ing that you go along on the trip. There’s no rea­son you can’t hang out on the boat and en­joy some sun while they dive. In any case, if your boyfriend isn’t on board with the idea, tell him you’ll call his friend’s hus­band and set up a beach va­ca­tion with him. Af­ter all, why should the two of you be left at home? I’m pretty sure that’ll change his mind.

I’ve been see­ing this guy for about six months, and things seem to be go­ing well. When should we start talk­ing about our re­la­tion­ship his­tory, and how hon­est do I need to be?

So you’re in a new re­la­tion­ship. Ev­ery­thing is tulips and ice cream and puppy dogs on a sun-drenched beach. You feel you’ve met your soul­mate, and that you can re­veal ev­ery­thing about your­self to him be­cause he gets you, and of course, you want him to know. But should you?

Sure, I’m all for be­ing hon­est with your part­ner about your past. But I mean stuff like cheat­ing on a test once. We can laugh about sins like that. But what might be less funny are your past sex­ual li­aisons. Em­ploy the “Would I want to know this about him?” rule be­fore you to spill the beans. Know­ing ev­ery­thing about each other doesn’t make you a stronger cou­ple.

When it comes to your sex­ual his­tory, I’d say it’s prob­a­bly bet­ter to give him a gen­eral over­view – but down­play the more porno­graphic as­pects. Oh, and just pray he offers you the same cour­tesy.

Got a re­la­tion­ship prob­lem? Ja­son God­frey, our man about town, is here to help.

Who says you can’t crash your guy’s hol­i­day?

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