ASK JAY

Herworld (Singapore) - - CONTENTS -

Got a re­la­tion­ship prob­lem? Our man about town, Ja­son God­frey, is here to help.

I’ve been see­ing this guy I met on a dat­ing app a few weeks ago. He seems per­fectly nice and ticks all the right boxes – he’s con­sid­er­ate, pleas­ant, and has a good job. Thing is, I’m not feel­ing the sparks – though I sus­pect he’s more into it than I am. Should I give him a chance?

Sparks don’t mean any­thing – un­less you want a big, bright, burn­ing fire that you can see from space. Wait! Don’t you want a re­la­tion­ship you can see from space? Lots of relationships start with­out the sparks, but they can de­velop over time, con­trary to what Hol­ly­wood tells you. Give it a go and see what hap­pens – but if the sparks still don’t show, maybe it’s time to move on and find your su­per­nova.

I’ve been try­ing to meet guys on dat­ing apps like Tinder and Cof­fee Meets Bagel, but I’m not hav­ing a lot of luck. A friend says my pro­file needs to be more fun. I’m stumped. What do guys want to see on an on­line dat­ing pro­file?

Well, first you need to de­cide what kind of bagel you want to be. Write the dat­ing pro­file you want to read. If you’re into funny and ir­rev­er­ent, be that. But if you’re re­ally a plain bagel who doesn’t care for all the ex­tras, just own it. Trust me, there are peo­ple out there who like plain bagels.

My hus­band never takes an in­ter­est in the stuff I like. He won’t go to plays, mu­se­ums or ex­hi­bi­tions, be­cause he thinks they’re bor­ing. But I’m al­ways mak­ing the ef­fort to do stuff that he likes with him – even when it’s not some­thing I love. How do I get him to see that it’s not so much about what we do and more about spend­ing time with each other?

Maybe you should stop do­ing such bor­ing stuff. I joke, I joke! Seriously, though, you de­serve to have him re­turn the favour. Maybe the first step is to find a play or mu­seum ex­hi­bi­tion that would in­ter­est him. Once he’s eased into it and ap­pears to be en­joy­ing him­self, go for the jugu­lar – tell him how much you ap­pre­ci­ate his ef­forts and are en­joy­ing his com­pany. Hope­fully, there’s a his­tory-of-videogam­ing ex­hi­bi­tion com­ing to a mu­seum near you. Good luck.

It’s great that you’re en­joy­ing your­self, but what about me?

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