Guide to at­tend­ing a party

Rules For The Modern Man - - Rules For The Modern Man -

Just as there are cer­tain things you should ob­serve as a host, there are codes of be­hav­iour you should ad­here to if you wish to be a good and cour­te­ous guest. Here are some tips you should fol­low when at­tend­ing a party hosted by a friend.


Itʼs re­mark­ably an­noy­ing for any host if you do not con­firm your at­ten­dance but turn up unan­nounced at the last minute. This is es­pe­cially so if itʼs a sit-down event. It is only po­lite to call or email your host to let them know if you are able to at­tend, or if you will be ar­riv­ing late. If you are turn­ing up much later, give the host a ring to of­fer to pick up sup­plies on the way.

What is just as im­po­lite is turn­ing up with ad­di­tional guests. Al­ways ask your host if it is all right to bring a friend or two along to the party. If the an­swer is no, for any rea­son, you shouldn’t im­pose.


Never turn up empty-handed. Make sure you show up with some­thing that the host will ap­pre­ci­ate and can use, such as a bot­tle of wine or whisky, or food that he or she can serve eas­ily. If you are bring­ing food, find out what your host would like to have.


Un­less you are of­fer­ing to help serve up drinks for the party, hog­ging the bar is a crude way of get­ting wasted. Never hold on to a bot­tle or spend the en­tire time at the bar or­der­ing drinks

Have a Stan­dard

It is tacky to bring a bot­tle of the least ex­pen­sive wine in the house when go­ing to a party, and it also shows your host just what you think of the in­vite. Pick out a proper bot­tle that he or she will ap­pre­ci­ate, that he can use im­me­di­ately to add to the party (i.e. chilled and ready for pour­ing).

for your­self. A party is for min­gling, so cir­cu­late and get to know new peo­ple. Other­wise, you can al­ways head out to the pub for a drink on your own.


Itʼs def­i­nitely more com­fort­able to stay among friends and chat about the usual stuff, but you ʼre miss­ing out on the fun part of a party, which is to meet new peo­ple. Join other groups that you are not fa­mil­iar with, and ask if itʼs all right for you to join in. In­tro­duce your­self and carry on from there. Never in­sin­u­ate your­self into a group sim­ply by hov­er­ing on the edge and jump­ing into the con­ver­sa­tion abruptly, es­pe­cially if they are speak­ing about a topic that is pri­vate.


Fol­low the dress code. You donʼt want to turn up at a party in slacks and a T-shirt when every­one else is dressed up for cock­tails. That is dis­re­spect­ful to the host and shows you did­nʼt pay at­ten­tion to the in­vite. You can al­ways be over dressed but you should never be un­der dressed. If you know that you are com­ing from work (or else­where) and will not be look­ing your sharpest, in­form the host prior and apol­o­gise.


Know your lim­its and stick with them. Man­age your­self and other friends by al­ter­nat­ing be­tween non-al­co­holic and al­co­holic drinks so that you are not in­tox­i­cated and can de­part sober, without of­fend­ing the host or any of his guests. If you think you have had too much to drink, ask if thereʼs a pri­vate place where you can sober up or if you can leave the party early.


If you have met some­one at the party that you like, donʼt hit on them right there and then. In­stead, ask your host if he or she could make an in­tro­duc­tion af­ter the party and pro­ceed from there. It pre­vents awk­ward ex­changes at the party.


You should al­ways know when the party is com­ing to a con­clu­sion, and de­part po­litely af­ter thank­ing the host. Be ob­ser­vant and know when your host is ready to call it an evening. That way you can fa­cil­i­tate by sug­gest­ing to the other at­ten­dees that itʼs time to go. Of­fer to help clean up if you think itʼs ap­pro­pri­ate, but if your host says no, just of­fer your thanks and leave be­fore he has to kick you out.

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