What if you have different love languages?
It doesn’t matter, says Andrew Chow, an Enneagram personality coach, as long as you make an effort to understand and reach out to the other person. “If you want to build rapport with someone, you need to know what makes them tick. Love languages work the same way.”
Friction and misunderstandings can happen when you impose your love language on others. “Your needs will only be met with your own love language, so communicate that to your loved one clearly. But if they show love in other languages, you should explain that it doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate them,” explains Andrew. That way, they don’t feel rejected and hurt.
So, if you buy expensive gifts for your parents but they react by chiding you over the cost, don’t be offended, says Andrew. “It’s a parent thing because they don’t want their children to spend so much. By nagging you about how expensive the gifts are, they’re saying that they appreciate their value – it’s another way of saying ‘Thank you’.”