NO MORE EXCUSES!
Not in the mood? Too tired? If you’re guilty of giving these no-sex-tonight excuses (and more), then you need to get your mojo back.
How to get your bedroom mojo back and feel comfortable with your body.
• If you’re short on time…
Plan sex in advance, as unromantic as it sounds. Schedule it one or two days a week and start as soon as dinner’s done and the kids are asleep.
Our reader’s tip:
“My husband and I call Wednesday and Saturday nights our ‘happy hour nights’. We never fail to make love on these two nights, no matter how busy or tired we are. Scheduling sex has forced us to reconnect on an intimate level – it has brought us closer and improved our marriage greatly.”
– Danni, 41, lecturer
• If you’re not in the mood…
Take off your clothes and just lie in bed with Hubby, pressing your bodies tightly together. Research shows that a few minutes of this will get you in the mood, as skin-on-skin contact releases pheromones – chemical signals that trigger desire.
Another idea: Chew on liquorice, thought to mimic the effects of oestrogen and progesterone – critical female hormones for getting you turned on. A Chicago-based study in the late 1990s revealed that women who were exposed to the scent of liquorice had a 13 per cent hike in blood flow to their nether regions. But take note: Buy only those that contain real liquorice root extract.
Our reader’s tip:
“My husband and I practise what we call ‘naked yoga’. When we manage to strike and maintain a pose well, we ‘celebrate’ by kissing. This usually gets me passionate enough to get naughty midway through the session.”
– Lily, 32,
• IF yOu’RE tOO tIRED…
Carve out 10 minutes each night to relax. Research shows that for women to feel aroused and experience orgasm, the parts of their brain linked to external stressors must deactivate.
If all else fails, chomp on a banana or two. Bananas are a rich source of vitamin B, which converts carbohydrates into energy – so you’ll literally have more energy for monkey business.
Bananas also help your body to produce sex hormones like testosterone – which means that having the fruit a few hours before nookie time can keep you pepped up, says Dr Hilda Hutcherson in her book, Pleasure: A Woman’s Guide To Getting The Sex You Want, Need And Deserve ($19, Amazon.com). Our reader’s tip: “If I’m feeling exhausted and my husband insists, I’ll squeeze in a 10-minute power nap first. I don’t want to deny him the pleasure, as we work long hours and barely see each other. So I ‘meet’ both our needs by resting before indulging him. It works each time.”
– Mary, 38,
• IF yOu’RE BORED wItH tHE sAME ROutINE…
Try strip aerobics. To master the art of disrobing, pop in a DVD
of Baywatch babe Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease – In The Bedroom ($16.45, Amazon.com), which is part of her fitness collection series. Your new moves are guaranteed to be a sight for Hubby’s sore eyes. Our reader’s tip: “I picked up belly dancing to lose weight and jazz up my love life. I thought the slinky moves and shimmies would help me seduce my husband better. And they did. Now, we are thinking of signing up for salsa as a couple – I hear those moves are raunchier!” – Lena, 36, civil servant
• IF yOu’RE NOt LOvING yOuR BODy…
Slip on something that makes you feel sexy all over. This can have a positive effect on your confidence, especially when you tune in to how much he’s admiring ng your body. Our reader’s tip: “I have a go-to nightgown that I put on each time my insecurities set in. It hugs my curves and boosts my cleavage, so I feel like a vixen whenever I put it on. My worries about my dimpled thighs, sagging tummy y or flabby arms just disappear.” – Laura, 42, lawyer
• IF yOu HAvE A HEADACHE, LItERALLy…
All the more reason to make love. Research has shown that satisfying sex can chase away a niggling migraine – scientists believe it is 10 times more effective than painkillers.
But it can’t be just-lie-there sex – you need to get really involved in the horizontal tango (better still, hit your climax) to trigger the release of endorphins, the body’s natural pain reliever.
If you’d rather alleviate that headache first, down a palmful of almonds – they contain magnesium, which helps to relax constricted blood vessels (a cause of headaches) and improve blood flow. Our reader’s tip: “There’s some truth to how sex can cure a headache. My migraine disappeared halfway through intercourse with my husband. I also read that sex may alleviate a flu as it builds up antibodies, boosting immunity. My husband jokes that whenever I get the sniffles, it’s time to meet the love doctor – him.” – Myra, 29, graphic artist