Greener pas­tures

Simply Her (Singapore) - - Kleenex Special -

No won­der he loved go­ing back time and again to the same ho­tel for a hol­i­day – it was so con­ve­nient for him to sneak out and spend time with his other fam­ily!

I was in shock and seething with rage, but I was also dis­ap­pointed and heart­bro­ken. I ran out of the cafe and caught a cab back to the ho­tel. Fred didn’t chase af­ter me – I wasn’t sure if I felt relieved or up­set at that. pac packed my bags. I told him I was goi go­ing home the next morn­ing.

Fred tried to per­suade me to stay, say say­ing we needed to work things out. I re re­fused and told him that if he still love loved me, he would leave with me. He too took a mo­ment to con­sider, then told me to go ahead. ‘I need to tie up some loo loose ends. I will be home in two day days,’ he said.

So I went home alone, re­jected by the man I’d thought was my soul­mate –w – we had been to­gether since col­lege and hardly ever ar­gued through­out our re­la­tion­ship – and mulling over my myr­iad ques­tions. Was my mar­riage a sh sham? Was it worth sav­ing? How wou would I tell the kids that their fa­ther has another fam­ily over­seas? By the tim time Fred re­turned home two days late later, I still didn’t have the an­swers.

For a month af­ter that, Fred and I cr crept around each other, not say­ing mu much and keep­ing up a sem­blance of a mar­riage be­fore we at­tempted to c com­mu­ni­cate again. Fred reached out rst, say­ing we needed to dis­cuss things. thi He took me to din­ner at our favourite restau­rant and was an ab­so­lute gen­tle­man that night, re­mind­ing me of how he used to be when we’d rst started dat­ing.

He apol­o­gised for up­set­ting me and told me that he hadn’t planned on fall­ing in love with Jane. ‘It just hap­pened,’ he said earnestly. He said he was wait­ing for the right time to tell me. Sob­bing, he asked for my for­give­ness. He’d missed me ter­ri­bly and wanted to make things bet­ter be­tween us. ‘Can’t we just go back to the way we were?’ he begged. He promised that he would fairly di­vide his time be­tween Jane and me.

At that mo­ment, it all be­came clear to me – I knew what I needed to do. We’d never go back to the way we were if Fred wasn’t will­ing to let go of his other wife. I cer­tainly wasn’t go­ing to share, so I asked Fred for a di­vorce.

He was taken aback. ‘We’ve been mar­ried for so long. You can’t just give up on us now. Think of our chil­dren,’ he im­plored. But I re­mained rm. I told him he had made a mock­ery of our mar­riage and I couldn’t ac­cept another woman in his life. I couldn’t un­der­stand how my hus­band could give his heart to some­one else and sneak around while do­ing so. That was two years ago. It took me about a year to nally move on with my life. I have a steady job now and have moved back in with my par­ents, who have been so sup­port­ive, even help­ing me care for my kids while I’m at work.

It was difcult at rst, hav­ing to sur­vive on a sin­gle in­come – I re­alised how ‘pam­pered’ we had been when Fred was around and bring­ing home a big salary – but we have man­aged to ad­just to our new, hum­ble life­style.

I never both­ered to nd out what the le­gal sta­tus of Fred’s sec­ond mar­riage was. But I ex­plained to my chil­dren what their fa­ther did and why we di­vorced – I don’t want to hide any­thing from them. I don’t know if they fully grasped the sit­u­a­tion – all they did was to cry and hug me, and ask for Daddy to make them break­fast the day af­ter – but I hope they will un­der­stand when they get older. They still see their fa­ther once in a while, but they are no longer as close to him as be­fore.

I have started dat­ing again. I’m not yet ready to walk down the aisle once more, but I’m will­ing to take a sec­ond chance with another man. I hope that I’ll be able to nd some­one bet­ter than Fred, some­one who will not only em­brace my young ones as his own, but also love me – and only me.”

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