GET­TING ALONG

Simply Her (Singapore) - - Change Your Life -

When you feel your­self get­ting impatient, prac­tise breath­ing deeply and em­pathis­ing with the other party. Shee Wai adds: “Think about whether you have con­trol over what’s hap­pen­ing – take a breath and let go if it’s not within your con­trol. Know that ev­ery­thing has its place and time.”

“I CAN’T GET MY POINT ACROSS CLEARLY”

To get your points across bet­ter, you first need to be clear about your thoughts. He­len sug­gests writ­ing down in point form what you want to say and prac­tise say­ing it in front of a mir­ror or to a good friend.

If you of­ten get car­ried away by your emo­tions, “fo­cus on the main point, think through the logic of your ex­pla­na­tion, and keep it as clear and concise as pos­si­ble”, sug­gests Shee Wai. Don’t be dis­tracted by the other per­son’s re­ac­tion. If nec­es­sary, ask for space to fin­ish what you’re say­ing be­fore the other per­son re­sponds, she adds. Th­ese women didn’t let their re­la­tion­ship prob­lems faze them. “I of­ten wish I had more time to just catch up on sleep and with friends. On top of a full-time job, I am study­ing for my mas­ter’s de­gree and rais­ing two young sons. I also want to spend time with my hus­band and mother.

“So I plan my time care­fully. I have a cal­en­dar where I mark my ‘breaks’ – be it a nice meal or an out­ing with fam­ily or friends – and treat them like re­wards that I work to at­tain. It pro­vides me with a short-term goal and a sense of ac­com­plish­ment when I earn that re­ward.” – Sim Shu Xian, 32, ed­u­ca­tor “I used to feel un­com­fort­able and shy when speak­ing in front of a big group, and I found it hard to form re­la­tion­ships with peo­ple. I even­tu­ally re­alised that I had to do some­thing about it. So I took on a de­mand­ing job that forced me to speak to large num­bers of peo­ple. Af­ter that, I re­alised that it wasn’t as dif­fi­cult as I’d thought it would be.” – Fanny Ooi, 28, as­sis­tant manager

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