When you feel yourself getting impatient, practise breathing deeply and empathising with the other party. Shee Wai adds: “Think about whether you have control over what’s happening – take a breath and let go if it’s not within your control. Know that everything has its place and time.”
“I CAN’T GET MY POINT ACROSS CLEARLY”
To get your points across better, you first need to be clear about your thoughts. Helen suggests writing down in point form what you want to say and practise saying it in front of a mirror or to a good friend.
If you often get carried away by your emotions, “focus on the main point, think through the logic of your explanation, and keep it as clear and concise as possible”, suggests Shee Wai. Don’t be distracted by the other person’s reaction. If necessary, ask for space to finish what you’re saying before the other person responds, she adds. These women didn’t let their relationship problems faze them. “I often wish I had more time to just catch up on sleep and with friends. On top of a full-time job, I am studying for my master’s degree and raising two young sons. I also want to spend time with my husband and mother.
“So I plan my time carefully. I have a calendar where I mark my ‘breaks’ – be it a nice meal or an outing with family or friends – and treat them like rewards that I work to attain. It provides me with a short-term goal and a sense of accomplishment when I earn that reward.” – Sim Shu Xian, 32, educator “I used to feel uncomfortable and shy when speaking in front of a big group, and I found it hard to form relationships with people. I eventually realised that I had to do something about it. So I took on a demanding job that forced me to speak to large numbers of people. After that, I realised that it wasn’t as difficult as I’d thought it would be.” – Fanny Ooi, 28, assistant manager