Af­fected by or­deal, she now helps oth­ers

The Straits Times - - OPINION -

Miss June Bai, 30, had an abor­tion in her early 20s, suf­fered from the guilt and shame of it, and now wants to help oth­ers in her shoes.

Seven or eight years ago, her for­mer boyfriend sug­gested an abor­tion af­ter she found out she was about two months preg­nant. She “went along” with it.

She told The Straits Times: “I saw a lot of fear in his eyes. If I kept the child, would I lose him and end up as a sin­gle mum? That’s re­ally scary. I don’t think I can raise a child alone. What would oth­ers and my fam­ily think of me?”

She said they split up shortly af­ter that; the re­la­tion­ship col­laps­ing un­der the weight of their de­ci­sion to ter­mi­nate the preg­nancy.

Miss Bai, who is sin­gle, felt she had no right to grieve as she was the one who made the choice. So she threw her­self into her job in the fi­nance in­dus­try – her way of “es­cap­ing” the pain. But ev­ery night for 11/ years, she cried her­self to sleep.

Over time, Miss Bai, a Chris­tian, found emo­tional heal­ing through her faith. But what re­ally helped was at­tend­ing Rachel’s Vine­yard, a Catholic-based pro­gramme that ad­dresses the emo­tional and psy­cho­log­i­cal pain from an abor­tion, run by Fam­ily Life So­ci­ety, a char­ity.

Two years ago, she was in New Zealand when she came across a cou­ple col­lect­ing but­tons sent by those af­fected by abor­tions – the women, the men and even other fam­ily mem­bers. The but­tons served as a me­mo­rial to the aborted ba­bies.

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