Find out if his friends are also anti-so­cial and ag­gres­sive. Your child might have started bul­ly­ing so as to re­main ac­knowl­edged by them.

Young Parents (Singapore) - - AGE BY STAGE 3 - 4 YEARS -

Is he al­ways at the bot­tom of the fam­ily peck­ing or­der? Do other kids in the preschool bully? Dis­cuss your con­cerns with preschool staff Tell your child you saw what he did Ex­plain you have spo­ken to his teach­ers En­cour­age him to think of the vic­tim

He may never have thought about the im­pact of his ag­gres­sion on other chil­dren – he might sim­ply see the in­ci­dent as funny. Dis­cuss how a vic­tim feels.

He will be shocked and em­bar­rassed that you and his teach­ers know about it. That’s likely to dis­cour­age fur­ther bul­ly­ing.

Let him know you will watch closely from now on

Once he knows that you are aware of his bul­ly­ing – and that you and his teach­ers will keep one an­other in­formed about this – it will de­ter him from act­ing this way. Un­der­stand­ing your child’s mo­ti­va­tion will di­rect you to­wards the best course of ac­tion to re­solve the sit­u­a­tion. Here’s a ve-step guide: Talk to his teach­ers and ex­plain that you saw him bully an­other child. Draw their at­ten­tion to it so they re­main vig­i­lant and take ac­tion to stop his be­hav­iour.

Your fouryear-old might think you are un­aware of his ac­tion. Point out that you saw him at it and that this be­hav­iour is un­ac­cept­able.

While “They all do it too, Mum” is not an ac­cept­able ex­cuse for mis­be­haviour, it’s al­ways worth check­ing out if his friends are also anti-so­cial and ag­gres­sive.

Chil­dren copy one an­other, and he might have started bul­ly­ing so as to re­main ac­knowl­edged by them.

It could be that your preschooler feels pow­er­less and weak at home be­cause every­one else seems to en­joy more choice and inuence. Per­haps bul­ly­ing makes your child feel tough and pow­er­ful for once.

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